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[personal profile] breakinglight11
IT'S TIME FOR AN UNPOPULAR OPINION RANT, KIDDIES!

Pockets on dresses are pointless. Nothing that's important to carry can be carried comfortably or attractively in a pocket.

FIGHT ME.

Do I want my iPhone crammed in the pocket of my skirt, making a big old bulge and banging around my legs while I walk? NO. If it even fits in there, which it never freaking does. Will my wallet fit in a pocket in a dress? And even if it does, do I want it to look like I'm growing a hip tumor? If the pockets are big, and you can actually store important shit like that, it's so heavy it just drags on your clothes and looks stupid. If they're small, nothing fits! Oh, look, I can put my change in my dress pocket! I'VE SUCCESSFULLY KEPT THIRTY-EIGHT CENTS ON ME! SO USEFUL. I sure hope it doesn't like fall out if I shift myself the wrong way. I CAN WARM MY HANDS IN THERE. On the days where it's warm enough to wear a dress, anyway! MANY USEFULS. MUCH BIG DIFFERENCE.

I guess you could give everything one of those stupid kangaroo pockets like on sweatshirts! But that's EVEN MORE FLATTERING though, right!? I mean, every woman looks better when you strap a bulge on that padded part just underneath the bellybutton. THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD MAKE THAT BETTER IS TO SHOVE STUFF INTO THE BULGE TO MAKE IT EVEN BULGIER. Or just slap one on the front like an apron! Then you can look like you're a six-year-old in a pinafore! With your shit bouncing around on your crotch as you walk, with the attractive bump leading your way!

YAY POCKETS! YOU HAVE ACTIVELY MADE ME UGLIER WHILE HELPING ME IN NO MEANIGNFUL WAY.

So: pockets on dresses? POINTLESS. Bah.

Date: 2017-06-26 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] offside7
I definitely agree with this, for a lot of clothing. I've had sweatshirts with the pockets in front where I stuck something in them and not only was it likely to fall out if I stood up suddenly or ran, it also expanded the sweatshirt right around my waist, which made the sweatshirt look less nice. (They can be nice to stick your hands in when it's chilly, though.) I've also worn pants and skirts where something like my phone was visible when in the pocket, and I had to carry my purse anyway, so why bother?

But I also own a number of dresses with skirts with enough volume and/or gathering such that putting my phone or glasses or whatever in them made no visible difference at all, and then I wonder why all my dresses with such skirts (or all my skirts with that shape) can't have them.

I also do think there is some value in tiny pockets in specific situations -- I've been out running and realized my tiny zippered pocket on my athletic leggings is just large enough to fit a house key and a folded $5 bill so I can stop and buy a drink. (It also fits small cards printed with loot for handing out to PCs when NPCing in boffer LARP. Zippered pockets are so much better than remembering to hide a loot bag somewhere under your costume.)

(I like unpopular opinion posts! I often start them then chicken out of making them public.)

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