breakinglight11: (Default)
This scene really needs more wit and thought, but I pushed to finish. Any scene with Justin needs to be very witty and clever, but I'm too tired to labor over it. Still, I'm glad I got an idea for a scene with Justin in it. I love his character.


Day #31 - Enough to Compare )
breakinglight11: (Default)
This isn't from any particular place in the timeline. Just an attempt at a funny scene I pulled out of nowhere in my push to finish.

Day #30 - Out of Place )
breakinglight11: (Default)
Ugh. Garbage. Ill-thought out, context-free, with decisions made that shouldn’t be made until a thousand other things are figured out. But I got to finish the damn challenge. And I’ve arbitrarily decided this is the all-Hawking 31P31D, so I’m pulling out whatever I can think of.

Day #28 - Impasse )
breakinglight11: (Default)
A rough, somewhat vague scene. It's a stab at imagining something that would depend on a plot I know nothing about, the thrust of the story in Mrs. Hawking 5. But I am excited to think about how Clara would be pulled in to help out, particularly because Nathaniel's in danger and she's called upon to be the third man on the team (so to speak) in his absence.

Bah. I do not want to be generating more scenes right now. But I'm pretty much out of non-spoilery Gilded Cages scenes, and I can't bear not to fill out the challenge here on this blog.

I should do more with Mary and Clara. I want them to have a friendship too, but I've never had much of an opportunity to explore it.

Day #27 - Bravest Soul )
breakinglight11: (Default)
Blargh. This scene, which immediately follows Day #25 - "Act Tonight", is not working. The idea behind it is that Mrs. Hawking has come to sympathize, even identify, with this client Mrs. Khan (soon to be Mrs. Chaudhary) in the course of helping her, plus is in a self-reflective and melancholy mood due to thinking about the past. These are supposed to combine to make her more open and forthcoming than she usually is. However, the overwhelming consensus at the reading was that she was WAY TOO open and forthcoming to be in character, and after hearing that I agree. I need to find a way to get the information across here while pulling massively back to keep Mrs. Hawking believable, but I haven't undertaken that editing operation yet.

Blargh. I have five more of these to do and I think I'm out of Gilded Cages scenes I can post without excessive spoilers.

Day #26 - How Did You Come to Do This? )
breakinglight11: (Default)
As I said, I'm very close to running out of Gilded Cages scenes that are not excessively spoilery to post. But I've got writing for my game job to do this week, and of course I've got to actually edit the play for real. So I don't want to worry about writing new stuff for 31P31D right this second. So I'm just slamming down what remaining scene pieces I've got. For these last couple, the arcs may not be totally complete, but I'm just going to break them at the shifts that caused me to chunk them apart in the writing process in the first place.

Again, these scenes from the case need to be fixed up for logic and flow, but here's how they stood in draft one. Also, again, Mrs. Khan will be Mrs. Chaudhary to more accurate reflect the character's background.

Day #25 - Act Tonight )
breakinglight11: (Default)
I am almost out of postable scenes from Gilded Cages. This might be the last one. Even though there were thirty-nine separate scene pieces, some of them were more "connective tissue" between moments, and others were pieces I don't want to show yet for fear of spoiling the ending. So I've only only a couple remaining, and I'm probably going to have to write a few more new things just to round out the thirty-one days.

I'm showing some of the early scenes of the case of Gilded Cages, which definitely need some clarifying work. It starts in medias res, and deciding exactly what bit of information should be parceled on when needs some fixing. Also, I need to make it super clear that the issue discussed here between the women is "men suck and marriage is awful" rather than anything like, say, the client's religion or other things. With Mrs. Hawking, the issue is ALWAYS "men suck and marriage is awful," but I don't want any confusion on that point. 😁

Also, I'm changing Mrs. Khan's name to Mrs. Chaudhary, on the advice of several readers.

Day #24 - The Gang Case )
breakinglight11: (Default)
In trying to come up with what to post today, it struck me that despite going on and on, often in the text of the Hawking plays, about how important Nathaniel's relationship with the Colonel was to him, I'd never actually written any interaction between them. The closest I've ever come was a quick mention in what is thus far the only prose to exist of the main Hawking storyline— a short story I drafted about Nathaniel's falling for Clara during the time she was seeing Justin.

While version one of that piece is complete, I never finished editing that story, since other projects became more pressing. But it was an interesting experiment in telling other pieces of the story which will never be able to feature in the full-length plays. Not to mention a chance for me to practice my rather atrophied prose muscles, which are probably good for me to keep in practice, even though drama is my focus. I plan on sharing that story when it's finished, but it still needs a pretty serious editing pass before I do that.

I bring that up because I thought that brief moment mentioned in that story between Nathaniel and the Colonel might make a good focus for today's scene. Imagining exactly what their interactions were like is really useful to understanding how Nathaniel has the rosy impression of his uncle that he does, and giving context to how he remembers him.

On top of that, I like the small ways it's revealing of the Colonel. It's easy to see how Nathaniel doesn't realize what his uncle is communicating to him— as a self-centered kid in pain, he's not in a good place to be perceptive —but the Colonel offers a sympathy to his nephew's plight that speaks to what Reginald himself feels about what he's gone through.

Also, it's fun to imagine what a lovesick, nineteen-year-old Nathaniel was like. 😁

Day #23 - What a Man Can't Help )
breakinglight11: (Default)
I've been picking at this piece for a long time. I think I could possibly extend it into a full ten-minute play with some expanding and polishing, but I pushed myself to finish it just to have something to post today. It's from after Mary and Mrs. Hawking have their break, and Mary agrees to marry Arthur and go to America with him. This is from just before their wedding, a moment between Mary and Nathaniel, who is giving her away.

It's mostly fluff, about the bond between the two characters. Developing their friendship is important to me while keeping it platonic, and I like how a piece like this pays that off in a powerful way. Also, it's an exercise in dealing with one of the largest potential pitfalls of the whole series, how often everyone ends up talking about Mrs. Hawking. Here, it is DELIBERATELY AVOIDED by the characters' intention. But, because of the recent blowup she's a conspicuous and painful absence— she refuses to attend Mary's wedding —there are some slight allusions that I hope acknowledge the reality of the situation without centering her.

Last year's Day #25 - Wedding Toast would occur just after this.

Day #22 - Giving Away )
breakinglight11: (Default)
Just a tiny bit of scene immediately following Day #20 - Learning the Hard Way", after Elizabeth delivers a bite of a reality sandwich to Priyanka and Victoria. This is important for all that it is short. It reveals Victoria's decent intentions, but her inability to understand just how much more Priyanka is risking and stands to lose if their scheme fails. As for Priyanka, we see a little of the weight of her responsibility, and how she is manipulated by Victoria's blind confidence, not to mention the invocation of a mother she felt like she never knew as well as she wanted to. The hugeness of her need— to save her neighbors, to know and be worthy of her mother —is established very strongly, I believe, in these small moments.

Day #21 - Very Proud of You )
breakinglight11: (Default)
This scene follows immediately after Day #19 - "Rebellious Young Girls" as Elizabeth comes in. Though the true delineation of the "scene pieces" as I call them are when a new character enters or exits and changes the dynamic of what's going on, each one encapsulates a tiny arc that is begun and concluded with that change. I think every scene ought to have an arc, and the scene pieces within it a smaller one within that, which add up to the overall arc of the scene. I'll admit, my scene transitions are determined by practical means— I switch them only when the time of the interaction or the location changes —but it maintains a sense of domino-like progress throughout the entire play.

Day #20 - Learning the Hard Way )
breakinglight11: (Default)
A bit from the flashbacks of Gilded Cages. This scene builds upon a connection that is established in Day #15 - A Small Alliance.

A theme that was suggested to incorporate by Mara Elissa Palma and Naomi Ibatsitas, two lovely theater artists who consulted on the development of this plot line, was the concept of power differentials making it so that mothers of color often have to take jobs caring for white women's children to provide an income for their families, but at the expense of being present for their own kids. I thought that was very powerful and here is the greatest presence that idea manifests in Gilded Cages. I want to display the effects, even if it's not directly named here.

It's important that this series of events is what wakes up Priyanka (I know I will have to rename because that's a Hindu name rather than a Muslim one— I looked up "Bengali names" in my research, not "Muslim Bengali names" like I should have.) to the reality of the injustice of British occupation. Up to this point, she has been too young and too preoccupied with the struggles of daily living to fully recognize how unfair and impossible colonial presence is. But the events of this story is what really opens her eyes, and she is a different person, now bent not only on relief of suffering but on justice, thenceforth.

Day #19 - Rebellious Young Girls )
breakinglight11: (Default)
This I whipped together late the other night. It's a scene from the past, where the Colonel is confronted by his brother Ambrose. The idea came from thinking about how Ambrose likely heard through his society connections that his brother would be offered the knighthood, and be so delighted by that fact that when he heard Reginald turned it down, he would march over there and give him hell for it. It's very rough and banged out, but it's interesting to think about these things that shaped the events that actually featured in the text of the plays.

Day #18 - No Knights )
breakinglight11: (Default)
Governor Gareth Stanton— Mrs. Hawking's father —is a bit of a bugaboo in our story. We know she hates him, and in her opinion he was an awful man. We finally get to meet him in part 4, and see where this rage toward him came from.

Day #17 - Best Solution )
breakinglight11: (Default)
This is a small section, but it pushes Mary's story along a little. The two major concepts in this story are the consequences of history and the lack thereof, and communication versus silence. This is tied into how Mary is struggling against her lack of history and the inclination to silence of the people around her, but is having trouble pushing through. And since she's trying to talk about something difficult that she knows Mrs. H doesn't want to hear, it's hard for her to find the strength to make her voice heard.

Day #16 - Something Important to Tell You )
breakinglight11: (Default)
I've been at GenCon this week, promoting on our release of Susurrus: Season of Tides for my job at Evil Overlord Games. So I've been behind on releases scenes. But here's another from Gilded Cages while I endeavor to catch up.

As a side note, I recently realized that Priyanka is a Hindu extracted name, not one an Indian Muslim would be likely to have. So I'm going to have to change it for accuracy's sake, but I haven't decided what to go with yet.

Day #15 - A Small Alliance )
breakinglight11: (Default)
A major issue in Mrs. Hawking part 4 is Nathaniel finding out the Colonel was offered a knighthood that he turned down— and Mrs. Hawking never cared to learn why. Bernie and I discussed what that scene in the past must have looked like, and though it will likely never feature in any actual show, I thought it might be fun to explore for curiosity's sake.

A major thing people wonder about is what it must have been like in their home when they were married and living there together. He spent a lot of time abroad when he realized how little she wanted him around, but when he was there, things were... frosty. Quiet and stiff. We decided that due to her resentment, Mrs. Hawking developed a profound mental block when it came to all things related to him, a resistance to making any connection or taking any interest in him. And he lacked the tools to communicate directly with her enough to even try to address their issues.

Still, I could imagine him making occasional forays into getting her to talk to him about SOMETHING— in this case, what to do about this knighthood he felt so bad accepting. Here I tried to imagine what that conversation must have been like. To wit, mostly him attempting in his indirect way to solicit her thoughts, and her shutting him down at every turn without ever actually becoming aggressive or rude. At least not overtly.

Day #14 - All the More Reason )
breakinglight11: (Default)
This was one of the scenes I felt was most successful in all of part 4 during the first reading. It directly builds off of Day #1 - "Stakeout Date" and immediately follows Day #11 - "Showing Up" One of my big resolutions for every piece in the series is that each of my three leads— Mary, Mrs. Hawking, and Nathaniel — get a meaningful personal issue to deal with. It's okay and indeed expected for who takes center stage to shift, like how part 1 is mostly Mary's journey and part 3 primarily features Nathaniel's, but they all need an arc every play whether it's the story's most important arc or not.

In part 4, I was concerned that Mrs. Hawking's is so big that it might completely force out the other two. So I made particular effort to clarify what Mary and Nathaniel's journeys were in my head in very specific terms so I could focus on them. Mary in particular is all about taking steps of a journey that spans the entire series— going from ignored and agency-free nobody to a full-fledged hero in her own right. So each play is her navigating a step along that way. In Base Instruments, she decided she didn't want to be a clone of Mrs. Hawking, with nothing else but the work in her life. Now in Gilded Cages she's dealing with people prospect of what that's going to look like. She knows she wants "more," but what does "more" mean?

She struggles because before coming to Mrs. Hawking, she had no meaningful history, nothing that she did or was that mattered. She has very little to build upon, like any important relationships or ties. It's all being formed from scratch for her. This gives her a good struggle for this story, because part 4 is ALL ABOUT history. Her lack of it does just as much to shape her as Mrs. Hawking's abundance.

The other thing was, at the first reading, this particular scene was read by Charlotte as Mary and Matt as Arthur, and their performance knocked it out of the park. Matt in particular has done so much to shape the character of Arthur in my mind with his excellent portrayals, and hearing it in Arthur's actual voice with all the meaning he brought to it was such a thrill.

Also, the last line is total fan service. BUT I LOVE IT.

Day #13 - Making Room )
breakinglight11: (Default)
This is, to me, one of the most important scenes in Mrs. Hawking part 4. Drama has to move fast, so every moment has to pull double or triple duty if possible, advancing the plot and teaching you as much about the characters as you can pack in there. I knew I could only fit four scenes in the past, and I had to establish everything you needed to know about Reginald Hawking— who he was, what he wanted, how he came to marry Victoria, and what all was wrong with it. That's a lot to pack in, especially since I basically had to have him meet her in one scene, fall for her in a second, and BE DAMN IN LOVE WITH HER in a third. That's all I got to make you believe it.

This is the second of those scenes. It needs cleaning up, but I think I'm on to something here. A goal of mine in all their interactions is to make them simultaneously endearing and understandable AS WELL as kind of fucked up if you think too hard about it. I want you sympathizing with Reginald, even as you think the whole thing is wrong. A tricky thing. I think it's in the neighborhood.

Day #12 - Vivat Victoria )


breakinglight11: (Default)

September 2017

      1 2
34567 8 9
1011121314 1516


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 20th, 2017 08:11 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios