All Eyes on Me

A chance to act a little again

2025-02-01T01:33:58Z

This week I got to hear an advance edit of an audio drama in which I played a semi-important role. It was an interesting experience— I thought the piece came out very well, with some great performances in a fun script, and some very effective sound editing.

It was the first time in a long time I’ve played a substantial acting role in something. I used to be more of an actor than anything else, and I still really enjoy it, but in the last decade I’ve moved far more to the other side of the curtain. I prefer the control one has over the story as writer and director, and honestly I’m better at those anyway. But I still like acting, and I used to be not-half-bad at it, so I appreciate the rare occasion I can fit it into my schedule to perform in something.

Most artists are critical of their work, but since I’m a good director and only an okay actor, it’s hard not to fixate on how I’d LIKE my performance to be but may not actually be able to make it. Usually one of my strengths as a theater artist is my ability to evaluate a performance, figure out what’s going on in it and what it possibly needs, but it’s tough to look at my own objectively. And I go back and forth on what I think of the job I did here.

Don’t get me wrong, I think I did okay. Respectably well, definitely not embarrassing myself. I don’t sound like a scrub. But pretty much every other actor in the piece is definitely more skilled than me, so I think I suffer a bit by comparison. Still, I tried. The role required a London accent, and I worked very hard on it to prepare. Cari was even kind enough to join me on a long car ride where we spoke like Cockneys for the duration so I could practice. I was playing a straight man role in a fairly silly comedy, so my two big goals were: one, to not be working so hard at the accent as to inhibit my acting, and two, to keep my readings dimensional and not one-note with exasperation, which is a real danger when you’re playing the serious person responding to the insanity around them.

I think I mostly succeeded at not letting the accent flatten me. But as for managing the latter, I attempted to bring in a touch of amusement to leaven it. The character does have a sharp wit, so I tried to use that to make it sound like I was willing to at least sometimes roll with the madness rather than just push against it. I’m divided as to how well it came through. Maybe in some places, but not in others. Of course, it could just be that the director preferred different takes. Maybe I would have gravitated to other ones than those selected— of course, my attempts may not have worked as well as I hoped, or the vision could simply be different.

Anyway, I’m very glad I got to do it. I enjoyed the process and the challenge, and it was really nice to do a bit of acting again. Even if I may have been the weak link in the chain, just because everyone else was just so good. When it comes out, I'll be sure to point people to it-- and you can judge my performance for yourself.

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Warwick Davis has a beautiful face

2023-01-27T01:43:57Z

It made me smile to learn that they were making a sequel series to Willow, the 1988 fantasy movie starring Warwick Davis. Normally I’m not a huge fan of decades-later sequels, but Willow has a special place in my heart, and I’m kind of happy to hear there’s new interest in it. It’s not exactly an amazing film, but I’ve enjoyed it since I was young. And there are two particular things about it, in my opinion, that made it special.

The first of which is Warwick Davis himself. I think that in a less ableist world, he would have become not just, like, a beloved specialty actor, but a star— if nothing else, maybe something like Peter Dinklage. He’s not a thespian on Dinklage’s level, but he is an utterly charming and engaging screen presence. And he’s just wonderful as Willow Ufgood. Compelling, lovable, sympathetic, believable. I was floored to learn he was just eighteen years old when he played that role— to carry a whole film like that so young is quite a feat. And he has the most beautiful face. I remember being struck by it when I was small and the impression of it never left me. A face made to be onscreen, full of expression and life, with a light of its own. Willow’s face is so beautiful.

The second is the kind of hero Willow is. He is the one who goes on the quest not because he is a great warrior, or an aspiring sorcerer. It’s because he’s a father. The task is to see that a special baby is saved from the witch who is hunting her, and Willow has to be the one to do it, because he has come to love her and knows how to care for her. Willow has the sweetest little family, a wife and two children he loves, and they don’t have to die to further his growth; he’s just delighted to get to come back to them. And I particularly love how baby care is explicitly part of what he brings to the adventure. Willow often references what to feed her, changing her, how to transport her safely, a depiction of parental tenderness that is so rarely seen in male adventure heroes. His heroism is in love and compassion above all. It’s one of the reasons I was so impressed to hear he was only eighteen years old, that such a young person was so believable as a family man, while still feeling quite young. In fact, I think this young man as a father while setting off on adventure inspired me when I was conceiving of Nathaniel Hawking, who also has two little kids at the beginning of his journey.

Bernie and I rewatched the movie the other night, and I enjoyed it as much as I ever have. We’ve started the new series, which honestly is just okay, but I’m liking it all the same. Willow deserves a little more love for being something special.

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31 Plays in 31 Days, #23 - “Tom Vincent, Six-Four”

2020-08-23T13:10:06Z

Another scene from the upcoming episode four of Dream Machine, falling after Day #5 - "Park Moms", Day #13 - "Mobile Set Pieces", and Day #16 - "Crawling Back", but before Day #20 - “Tap Dance”. In this scene, the process of auditioning actors for the romantic lead of the new show is depicted. I’m introducing a new recurring character, an actor named Tom Vincent, who will factor into the overarcing for the season. (Yes, I am imagining a season. I have become grandiose and ambitious with my stupid quarantine side project.) My intention is to sow some seeds with him, but not make anything obvious right away.

If you'd like to check out the episodes of Dream Machine so far, you can find them as follows:
1.01 - "The Show Must Go Off"
1.02 - "Requiem For a Dreamer"
1.03 - "Change or Die"

( Day #23 - Tom Vincent, Six-Four )

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Just listened through The Magnus Archive horror podcast

2020-02-17T22:13:53Z

I recently finished the back catalogue of an audio drama podcast, The Magnus Archive. It's a horror show where a research institute catalogues a complicated cosmology of terrors through recording encounters people have had with them, while unraveling the terrors true designs. Practically that means it has an uber plot built around the telling of many short horror stories in the form of statements of people's encounters. Matt Kamm recommended it to Bernie, who in turn suggested it to me, and he and I have been listening through it for the last several months.

Overall I like it very much. It's genuinely creepy, with a very well-thought-out world hosting a fairly unique cosmic horror, doled out engagingly both as standalone scary stories, and as pieces of a larger whole. The production design is solid, and the acting ranges from workmanlike to good. I'm actually really impressed at how well-planned it is. The creators clearly thought everything through very carefully in advance, and they do an amazing job of giving you the creeps for each individual encounter story while also building a much larger, more complicated meta plot out of those pieces. This aspect of the writing is excellent, and my favorite part of the show.

I like these parts of it enough-- the world, the plot, and the creepiness --enough to excuse the fact that honestly I don't think the characters are very engaging. The structure of the show does not give you very much information about anyone, and it's not in my opinion great about teaching you who they are incidentally through action or conversation. So everybody seems to me to be a bit generic and thin. The acting, as I said, is fine across the board trending to good; the main character's actor in particular, who is also the writer, also gets stronger and stronger as the show goes on. But nobody's really so strong as to do a ton to flesh out what's written in the dialogue alone. Mostly everyone serves the main thrust of the plot function. And the relationships are... weird. I think we're supposed to think they're all Fire-Forged Friends, as TV Tropes would put it, people who initially don't like one another but their shared struggles bring them close. Instead they just seem to be contentious with each other basically all the time, without much affection to leaven it. The one exception for me is the Martin character, who also has the benefit of the most nuanced acting performance.

I'd expect all this to bother me more than it does. Usually not being very invested in the characters is a deal breaker for me. But the rest of it really is strong and engaging enough to make up for it for me. I wanted to know what happened, I enjoyed the conception of the horror of the world, and I found it genuinely creepy, without ever feeling actually disturbed. So I'm really glad I listened through it, and grateful to Matt for recommending it. I wonder if there's something I can learn from it to help with my idea for my Victorian ghost story audio drama.

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