All Eyes on Me

Beautiful and terrible as the dawn

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 13:35:45 GMT

Beautiful and terrible as the dawn, all shall love me and despair.

Taken by the talented Mark Edwards. I REALLY love these. I think I look beautiful here, but I particularly enjoy how ”in character” I look, like I’m being someone other than myself. It’s probably mostly Mark’s excellent photography and editing, but it also pleases me to see some of my own modeling skill on display.

These days I don’t do so much modeling anymore, unless it’s something for fun for a friend, because it’s mostly not worth the trouble unless I’m getting paid A LOT. But I used to be kind of good at it, beyond just being skinny with symmetrical features. I mean, it’s not exactly digging ditches or brain surgery, but it takes some effort and skill. I would tell folks, it isn’t just about looking pretty on camera; it’s about projecting an impression that can be captured on camera. You have to know what your body and your face does in a still image and manipulate it to create a whole vibe, a whole persona, only in your still image. It’s similar to acting, but you don’t have some of the otherwise natural tools— no voice, no breath, no motion, no space-filling, no micro-expression —to contextualize you. Of course styling helps, but the limited image of your physical instrument is all you can use to communicate.

So I not only like these because I look good in them, but I can see something of my own modeling skill in them. Like, these are not-Phoebe expressions in these pictures; that’s not how Phoebe holds her face. That is the face of a powerful and slightly creepy witch queen character who I had to assume. Kind of proud of myself that I’m still able to do that.

And of course, you need a good photographer.

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Forever Captain: “The Show” - 5. Rebirth

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 16:45:49 GMT

Forever Captain:
“The Show”
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~

Summary: Steve’s teenaged great-granddaughter cajoles him into going with her to see Rogers: The Musical. And like any good theater experience, they’ll laugh and they’ll cry.

Previous chapters:
1. Balcony Seats
2. The Overture
3. Kids From Brooklyn
4. So Damn Lucky

Chapter summary: The performance’s showy style may serve some aspects of Steve’s early years of military service— but others, they don’t exactly do justice.

~~~

( Chapter 5 - “Rebirth” )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #31 - “A Wild Hare”

Sun, 31 Aug 2025 17:25:24 GMT

Well, here concludes one of the most unusual 31 Plays in 31 Days in my entire fourteen year history of the challenge. I was never late, in fact staying a few entires ahead until the very last day, and worked on a project I was absolutely not expecting to work on— in sequence, no less. So, here is the next scene of The Wicker Man adaptation, which I will definitely be finishing even though the month is over.

( Day #31 - A Wild Hare )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #30 - “Lord Summerisle”

Sat, 30 Aug 2025 17:53:08 GMT

Scene twelve of The Wicker Man, and a long and important one that introduces Lord Summerisle. Definitely not totally happy with this. I used the original as a grounding point, but I really haven’t sufficiently inflected it with my own themes. Definitely going to need real editing work, since I think this scene is going to bear a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to making the true danger of the cult clear.

( Day #30 - Lord Summerisle )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #29 - “The Cemetery”

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 16:28:05 GMT

I really did not expect this 31P31D to be taken over by this Wicker Man project. But it’s coming shockingly smoothly. Of course that doesn’t mean it won’t need editing, but honestly it’s still a very nice creative feeling, so I’m just going with it. This is scene eleven, and like all the others I’ve posted immediately follows the previous.

( Day #29 - The Cemetery )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #28 - “The Continuity of All Things”

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 16:43:26 GMT

This scene of The Wicker Man was tricky to write. I didn’t love the original version because I didn’t think it fit into the logic behind the scheme the locals were running. I had to come up with an adaptation that fit the logic I was using, such that once you go back after the ending, you can figure out what they’re trying to accomplish by the things they say. Tougher than I thought it would be, I think it worked out.

( Day #28 - The Continuity of All Things )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #27 - “The Schoolhouse”

Wed, 27 Aug 2025 15:35:36 GMT

Scene nine of The Wicker Man remake! I almost didn’t adapt this scene, as I struggled how to translate the consequences of it to the particular idiom and logic I’m using here. But once I figured it out, I decided it was too iconic to cut.

( Day #27 - The Schoolhouse )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #26 - “Lost Girls”

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 00:58:00 GMT

Scene eight of the Wicker Man remake! Another fairly original scene, meant to both advance the detective story, develop characters relationships, and establish some important information. I find myself consistently concerned that the themes are not really coming through, at least not to the degree that I want. Of course, that’s a classic “later draft” issue, where you tweak things to make it more precise to what you’re trying to convey, and I should be grateful these first drafts are coming so easily. But it’s hard not to fixate on what I know I want, but haven’t quite nailed yet.

( Day #26 - Lost Girls )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #25 - “Dogs in the Night”

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 13:53:15 GMT

Continuing on strong with The Wicker Man remake! I still can’t believe the momentum I’ve got on this. So here is scene seven, another fairly original scene. I’m reasonably happy with it, but I think it needs a little refining to manifest my chosen themes.

( Day #25 - Dogs in the Night )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #24 - “Willow”

Sun, 24 Aug 2025 14:00:44 GMT

Scene six of my Wicker Man remake! This is another scene that deviates from the original and reflects my own interpretation of the story, which I’m finding is mainly showing up in my depictions of the characters. I like what this one adds, though I’m concerned that in keeping some things vague I may not be conveying to the audience exactly what I want.

( Day #24 - Willow )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #23 - “Night Dance”

Sat, 23 Aug 2025 14:17:51 GMT

More Wicker Man! With this, scene five, I build directly from the last scene I posted. I have done an unusually good job this time around writing this script in sequence, which is something I can’t often do. Maybe because I’ve already got a structural template from the original script. But I feel like I am doing a half-decent job capturing the significant stuff from the original while inflecting it in the thematic direction I want.

( Day #23 - Night Dance )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #22 - "Broke Up"

Fri, 22 Aug 2025 15:36:59 GMT

Taking a little break from posting scenes from my Wicker Man remake, since I'm trying to do that one in sequence and I'm currently working on a scene I'm struggling to hammer out a bit. This is going back to Lacuna, which is coming out very out of order like most of my writing does, and tries to expand on a theme I'm trying to include as character work.

( Day #22 - Broke Up )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #21 - “Rowan”

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 14:37:26 GMT

Scene four of my Wicker Man remake idea. This scene is the first one I think that truly adds something rather than just iterating on the original. I’m not sure it has all the layers and nuances I want— it’s kind of in that place where I can’t tell if I’m being too obvious or not clear enough. But I’m overall pretty happy with how it came out.

I always loved the name Rowan.

( Day #21 - Rowan )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #20 - “The Inn”

Wed, 20 Aug 2025 14:42:07 GMT

Scene three of my Wicker Man remake idea. I was quite surprised at how much I’ve wanted to work on this, but the feeling of creative flow is one of the best things ever, so I’m going with it as long as it lasts.

This scene is the first one that I feel like I’m really able to start inflecting the original story with the main theme I’d like to inject— the idea that the cult is an excuse to instrumentalize and consume women. I’m hoping to introduce it slowly but I think here’s a good place to start making it perceptible. That way, I can move away from the idea that the problem is the pagan-ness— instead, the problem will be patriarchy. THE PROBLEM IS ALWAYS PATRIARCHY!

( Day #20 - The Inn )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #19 - “Morrison”

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 14:06:30 GMT

I’m surprised to report how inspired I’ve felt on the idea of writing a Wicker Man remake, and have done a fair bit of work on it already. I like the idea of working in the idea that (minor spoilers for The Wicker Man) the Summerisle cult is basically an excuse to instrumentalize and consume women, which I am going to endeavor to weave throughout my adaptation.

This scene immediately follows the opening I posted yesterday, #18 - “Summerisle”. Its main purpose is to lay a lot of groundwork in as natural conversation as possible. Exposition is never easy to work in, and often boring, but I’m also trying do a little planting that will payoff later.

( Day #19 - Morrison )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #18 - “Summerisle”

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 13:06:15 GMT

Now this one came as a surprise. I’ve been interested in horror lately, and I’ve been wanting to try a bit of my own— Lacuna is a recent bit of experimentation in the genre. But I’ve been watching some horror films recently to get inspired, and found myself intrigued by 1973’s The Wicker Man, which I’ve never actually seen until now. It’s a bit hokey in its datedness, but overall I enjoyed it and thought it was an effective film. My friend Jonathan asked me recently if I could think of films I think I could have done my own version of, and given how legendarily mocked the 2006 remake is, it struck me that I might have an interesting idea for my own reinterpretation. So here’s an opening scene for that idea.

( Day #18 - Summerisle )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #17 - "Intermission"

Sun, 17 Aug 2025 00:37:32 GMT

Another little piece of The Show, my MCU fanfic in the Forever Captain series about Steve Rogers's life post his retirement to the midcentury in Endgame. The thing I try to do with a lot of these stories is explore the impact being a time-traveling super-soldier has on Steve psychologically and emotionally. Like, what is it like to have lived out of time in the future and the past? What is it like to not know if your foreknowledge means your actions have no ability to affect the course of the timeline, or way too much? What is it like to age more slowly than everyone you love? How much does it separate you from others when they cannot possibly know what you've been through? What was it like to have the weight of the world on your shoulders? Those questions are ripe for drama, and I do my best even in this story, which is primarily supposed to be comedic, to make them feel present in my exploration of the character. I'm afraid that, like the last scene I did for this story in this year's challenge, #9 - Singing and Dancing, this is a bit insubstantial. But I think you can see me gesturing to the impact it's had on Steve to have lived such a singular life.

( Day #17 - Intermission )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #16 - “Collaborator”

Sat, 16 Aug 2025 13:49:31 GMT

Well, I stopped being able to write Lacuna scenes in the order they would probably occur. The challenging bit is that the scenes where they’re playing the video game, I really need to think through the imagery and how to manifest the ideas that I want to convey, but it’s very tough to figure that stuff out in time to get a coherent daily scene of it together. I hopefully will get some together before the end of the month, but I’m not there yet.

So this scene is not the next in the sequence, but a later part of the interview between Amy and Twist, trying to subtly build on the themes of the story and the specific nature of the horror.

( Day #16 - Collaborator )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #15 - “All’s Fair”

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 13:39:54 GMT

Another possible scene for a sequel to Gentlemen Never Tell. An element I like from this story is balancing the rivalry and romantic connection between Justin and Rosaline, for tension, humor, and a little spicy frisson. This scene is too cursory and not witty enough, but it’s meant to set up the nature of their conflict in this installment, plus the idea that they’re going to go to crazy lengths to one up each other.

( Day #15 - All’s Fair )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #14 - “Responsible”

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 13:48:35 GMT

A bit I hope to incorporate into Mrs. Hawking part 9. Something I’d like to explore is how hard it is to expand into a functional larger team. Mary is now stepping into the leadership position, but it’s a huge challenge and burden, and she’s got to figure out how to handle it. And I like the idea that, as much as she’s come into her own and doesn’t need a mentor anymore, there are still some things Mrs. Hawking can do to help and support her in this step of her growth.

As a side note, I wasn’t expecting to write this scene; it just kind of came to me. It’s a pleasant bonus of doing 31P31D when I come up with something I wouldn’t have come up with unless I pushed myself to just get something written.

Photo by Kathy Bedard

( Day #14 - Responsible )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #13 - “Two or Three Birds”

Wed, 13 Aug 2025 13:58:15 GMT

Ugh, another lame, awkward scene. This is some drafting for an idea for another Justin Hawking story, which we have a half-decent idea developing. But this scene is really awkward and poorly realized. I’m sure it could be saved with editing, but with a scene to bang out every day for a month, editing is not something I can afford to spend time on right now. So… right now it’s pretty bad.

( Day #13 - Two or Three Birds )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #12 - “Rosamunde”

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 14:01:14 GMT

Bleh, I don’t like this. It’s the scene immediately following yesterday’s #11 - Too Much in Dead Tongues. I know what it’s supposed to accomplish, but the details are sloppy and the execution feels contrived. I prefer a more naturalistic unfolding, but when you have a character alone in an audio drama, it’s tough not to have the character talk to themselves in an unrealistic way. There’s also a lot of cliche imagery, most of which I don’t even know what is supposed to mean. Lame. I can always clean it up later, but still, bleh.

( Day #12 - Rosamunde )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #11 - “Too Much”

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 13:35:29 GMT

Haven’t worked on this one in a long while. This is a scene from an idea I had for a ghost story audio drama, tentatively titled Dead Tongues. A family marries into an old noble lineage with a spooky house in the country, and the presence of the spirits are indicated by whispers of ancient Roman history and poetry. A conceit I’m not sure is workable practically, but I like the idea of it, and so I’m playing around with it.

This is another project I don’t really have fully figured out. Just noodling and seeing what comes of it. This scene comes after these previous:

Scene 1 - "Alea Iacta Est"
Scene 2 - "Left Her in Marble"
Scene 3 - “Shears His Flock”

( Day #11 - Too Much )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #10 - “Inspiration”

Sun, 10 Aug 2025 16:19:54 GMT

Ostensibly the fourth scene of my new horror piece Lacuna, after #4 - New Game, #5 - Curious, and #7 - Streaming.

A thing I often struggle with, particularly when I’m still figuring out the structure of a project, is the right speed of information release. I often find myself uncertain of what is good foreshadowing, what is giving too much away, and what is too empty because I’m trying to keep things hidden. This is a scene that is supposed to have early hints of important information under the surface, but neither immediately expose too much, nor waste the audience’s time. I don’t know if I’ve achieved either of those things here, but at least it’s down on paper.

( Day #10 - Inspiration )

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31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #9 – “Singing and Dancing”

Sat, 09 Aug 2025 16:03:12 GMT

I realized recently I haven’t worked on the mainline entry in my MCU fanfiction series, Forever Captain, for like a year now, and I feel kind of guilty about that. Of course, I feel guilty when I spend too much time writing fanfiction as well, so I guess I can’t win. But I do want those stories to get finished eventually. Unfortunately, I always find plotting to be the most intensive work in writing, and in a plot-heavy story like that one, it makes it the number one barrier to making progress.

It sometimes helps when I’m stuck on a prose project to try drafting scenes as drama, to lower the barrier to getting them on the page. That’s not super helpful when I’m trying to just figure out what needs to happen structurally, but it occurred to me it might help on a lower-intensity installment in the series that hasn’t seen any updates recently either. So here’s a scene from The Show, the one where Steve’s great-granddaughter takes him to see Rogers! The Musical. The premise of that piece is that while laughing over the musical’s inaccuracies, Steve gets to reflect to his great-granddaughter about the trajectory of his life, so I can weave pathos into the humor, and I’m afraid this scene is a bit thin for that. But as I continually remind myself— draft now, flesh out later. If you can’t do something you want to with a scene, do the next-easiest thing to it, and fix it in the edit.

I shall definitely have to do that here.

( Day #9 – Singing and Dancing )

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