Well, one subjective data point: I think the general approach works well for you. It took me a little while to get used to the hairstyle, but at this point it all feels nicely assembled and "you".

I do suspect some guys will be subconsciously intimidated by it -- it's certainly not a classic-femme look -- but it sounds like that's a feature rather than a bug. You're doing a good job of projecting strength, IMO.

And yes, I can see the "increasingly queer" point, but personally I don't think that detracts...