breakinglight11 | 31 Plays in 31 Days, #27

Bernie gave me the idea for this. His little baby niece has a weird little baby toy that is a bunny head with a blanket for a body, and its name is Susan, a hilariously prosaic name to me for such a silly toy. I joked that I should send her a toy named Karen from Finance and insist that anytime anyone refers to the toy, they must refer to her by her full title. So Bernie said I should write a humorous piece for the challenge about these very mundane matters tackled by these officer-worker-sounding characters at their job at Baby, Incorporated. So I did.

The boss and Susan

Day #27 - Baby, Incorporated
By Phoebe Roberts

SUSAN, one of those baby toys with a bunny head and a blanket body
KAREN FROM FINANCE, a stuffed lamb with jingle bell feet

Setting: The headquarters of Baby, Incorporated
~~~

(SUSAN drops in from the sky next to KAREN FROM FINANCE, who is working on a tiny clipboard.)

KAREN FROM FINANCE: There you are. Did your meeting run over?

SUSAN: The boss is running late today. You know how it is.

KAREN FROM FINANCE: That’s going to put a crimp in things. There’s a lot on the schedule for today. We need to spend at least a good hour on Nappy Time…

SUSAN: Throwing mashed peas on the floor will have to get pushed back to 2:30.

KAREN FROM FINANCE: And it’s going to take a real bite out of Rolling and Kicking. God knows when we’ll fit in Second Nappy Time.

SUSAN: I thought you were with the boss just now. I could have sworn I heard you jingling.

KAREN FROM FINANCE: Oh, common mistake. That’s Karen from Marketing. She has a bell for a nose. I haven’t had any face time with the boss at all today.

SUSAN: Good luck with that, given how far behind she is today. Are there any agenda items you were hoping to accomplish today?

KAREN FROM FINANCE: There are a few key targets I wanted to make progress on. I was popping out a few dozen times from behind someone’s back to work on Object Permanence.

SUSAN: Oh, good move. My left ear resource has been allocated towards the Teeth Project, but I still haven’t managed to stem any of the loss from the Compulsive Drooling problem.

KAREN FROM FINANCE: We also haven’t resolved the question of wearing clothes— do we scream and throw them off as soon as possible? Or do we just cover them in juice until the Board Members remove them of their own accord?

SUSAN: Ugh, I hate involving the Board. Whenever they have a problem with the boss, they just throw us at it.

KAREN FROM FINANCE: That’s our job, I guess— keeping the boss happy.

SUSAN: When do you think we’ll be able to pick back up with the schedule?

(A gurgling giggle can be heard. Suddenly KAREN FROM FINANCE is snatched up into the sky, leaving her clipboard behind. SUSAN picks it back up.)

SUSAN: Okay, so I guess Karen’s been transferred to the drooling project.

31 Plays in 31 Days, #27 - "Baby, Incorporated"