Knots

[breakinglight11]

Not sleeping well lately, as you may have gathered by the fact that I'm posting at quarter to 4AM. Very unlike me, as I usually crash at midnight. I'm not sure if all the Snapple I've been pounding has caused such a spike in my caffiene levels, or if my stomach ache is getting to be too much.

I'm stressed lately. Moreso than I had been, now. I have sad feelings over some stuff I've recently had to deal with that has made things significantly worse. The trouble is, these new bad feelings are not reasonable; they are not over anything I have any right to be bothered by. I acknowledge that, I recognize that. I'm quite disgusted with myself that I've gotten to this point at all; I cannot accept such selfishness in myself. But still, I feel bad. I worry that the only way to feel better is to do something selfish, and otherwise my stomach stays in knots.

I'm going to do the right thing. I have to; I couldn't live with myself otherwise. It's better to hurt.

Comments

[heliotropean.livejournal.com]

Aww Pheobe. I don't know what this is about (I'm getting used to that on lj) but I wish you luck with everything. The hard thing about feelings is they are so often completely against what you want to feel. But you can handle it, just keep going!
And maybe stop drinking snapple at night :)