"What a thing that I have seen tonight!"

[breakinglight11]

I know the rhyme scheme's all over the place, I'll have to fix that. But here's the first draft-- Justinian has just met Theodora for the first time, and now is musing, awed, over the experienced.

JUSTINIAN

What a thing that I have seen tonight!

Full of fire is my mind,

That hours on has my body gone,

Yet kept captive all my thoughts behind.

This maid— what maid? What's this I feel,

Of eyes that flash, and wits as sharp as legion steel?

To look, to speak, to spend a moment there,

Her spirit, keen as winter, laid me bare.

Is this Justinian? Is he yet his own

To find his cunning so ensnared?

Can dissembling actress hide a witch

And boldly to bewitch a prince she dared?

Nay. I, Justin still; my wits, a whole; myself, yet mine.

It is some wonder of her hath caught mine eyne.

The heathen Turks that tremble at the Emperor’s name

Equal not her tongue, a sword that pierces claim,

And where others led like asses, she holds no fear of me,

An unbound mare, who shakes her mane defiantly.

I will go back to where that lightning struck,

And if I am rent again, it is a blessed luck,

For many’s the miracle that is once, and away,

But few so rare I may see every day. 
 

Comments

[lisefrac.livejournal.com]

I am kind of in awe that you wrote this. Is the whole piece meant to be rhymed?

[katiescarlett29.livejournal.com]

The fifth line down reminds me of that Angelo monologue I love so much. But in a really awesome and absolutely-not-villainous way.

[dendron-ges.livejournal.com]

I must confess that I have a little difficulty getting the flow of the last two lines (though they do work a bit better when I say them aloud, rather than just reading them in my head), but overall, this is really really cool. If you're writing a whole play in meter and rhyme and all, I am totally in awe of you! :)