Steady on

I feel very overwhelmed and stressed. I shouldn't; things are basically under control, but it all feels so fragile, like I've barely got it held together. And when I'm so tired, I feel like I could collapse at any moment, taking the whole house of cards down with me.

I don't want to have to get up at six during tech week. I don't want to have to change my therapy appointment. I worry we won't be able to reschedule.

Of course I worry about everything. I always expect the worst. Even though we've pulled off the show literally ten times before. Even though it's good for me to secure another class I'm not going to lose.

I will make my syllabus tomorrow. I will do more work for the show tomorrow. I need to stop now. I have a time time shutting my brain off when I have worries. But it's late. There's nothing else I can do right now. I need rest, and that is something I can get right now. I need to go to bed.

Goodnight.