All Eyes on Me

Ragdolly for the new Mrs. Hawking play now has hair. I cut lengths of this thick acrylic yarn, folded them in half, and sewed them in rows down the back of her head. Then I took a handful of yarns and draped them across the top of her forehead to create a hairline. I sewed those down with a slightly off center stitch to look like a left hand "part". I considered styling it in some way, but I kinda like it the way it is.





All that remains is to embroider on a little smiling mouth. Probably going to do it in pink, which hopefully will keep it from looking too Jokerish. With the button eyes there is definite creepy potential to end up looking like the Other Mother from Coraline.

I was never a big sticker person, but I have sometimes smiled to see how others use them, like the way my students put them all over their binders and laptops.

One of my favorite prop details from the most recent round of Mrs. Hawking shows were the canned goods we used in a brief, newly added scene set in a grocer's. We scrubbed the labels off some black bean cans and bought two kinds of stickers with old-timey, Victorian advertising vibe. The long rectangular sepia ones went on one side, and the colored ones of varying looks and sizes went on the other. If you look closely at them you see they're all kind of magic-y in tone, but at camera distance they made for really cute little period props. I was super happy with how they came out.



We had a lot left over, and I've been wanting to do something with them. I also mentioned I've been getting a lot of use out of this little plastic craft table that sits across your lap. I'd already stuck a couple stickers on it for the hell of it, and it's just a cheap little thing, so I figured what the hell. So I made a collage of the Victorian label stickers all across the work surface. I like all the muted colors against the gray background, and it looks cheerful and fun.

Thought since fall is now underway, it’s a good time to update on what I’ve got going on and what I’m working on. I’m back to work now, after a fairly lean summer.

I have five classes, for which I’m extremely grateful— four at Lesley, one at MCPHS, which is a new institution for me. I’ve been trying to get hired at a new institution for years, and I was actually offered classes at several other schools as well, though this was the only one I had time to accept. It’s a pretty heavy course load, but I need the money, so it’s good I was able to secure it. My kids are already making it clear that they’re going to need a lot of support— maybe more than any other semester of my career —so I’m already feeling the weight of it. I’m also putting everything in place for the next round of Hawking production.

We’re doing a live version of Gentlemen Never Tell to perform at Arisia 2022, but also I’ve decided I want to make recorded versions of the Hawking back catalogue, for accessibility and permanence. So our other show will be a return to Mrs. Hawking part I, to make a high-quality staged production specifically optimized for filming on camera, so people can get into the series even if they can’t make the stage shows, or at least couldn’t back when we first started. Bernie and I also re-edited the Hawking I script, because the original was written all the way back in 2012 and just isn’t up to our current standard. I like the new version much better, but it took us a long time to finish. Since Bernie’s been so busy with his new job, the going was slow.

We’re also working on finishing the first episode of Dream Machine. We put together an assembly cut for the cast party and I was really happy and proud of it so far. But again, Bernie’s the one in charge of the editing, and he’s been absolutely underwater. We’d hoped to have it done by the end of the summer, but it’ll just have to come at its own pace. We’re in the process of finding backgrounds, though I’ve already accomplished most of the sound design. I’m pretty proud of that, seeing as that’s not my usual strong suit.

And I’ve done a ton of work on my Captain America fan fictions. They’re pleasant, low-stakes, and I don’t need to work with or wait on anyone to make progress on them. They get kind of a lot of hits, and I don’t have to be begging my friends to check them out because of the built in audience, so as a validation source they’ve been really addictive. Because they’re the lowest priority, they get shoved to the wayside when I’m busy. But they’re a really nice boost when I need it.

So, quite a bit. Not too unusual for me, I guess. But I’m already feeling a touch of overwhelm. I know I’ll get through it, I suppose I always do. But I think it’s going to take a lot.

Bernie has started editing the first episode of Dream Machine. It is almost-but-not-quite fully shot at this point, but enough that it’s possible to start assembling it. In this “Zoom+” style, as we call it, a big part of the editing is to build the screen composition and framing up the tracks within their boxes.


Early assembly of a scene — with Pieter Wallace, Charlotte Brewer, Circe Rowan, Tegan Kehoe, and Elizabeth Ross

Zoom+ editing, we discovered, is best done in stages. We learned a ton from the process of putting together the digital Hawking shows from this past year, and are hoping to apply it to push the envelope even further.

After building the composition, they’ll have to be speed ramped, which is the process of adjusting the timing so the individually-shot tracks will sound like they’re in conversation with each other and to take out all the dead air.

Transitions get put in, sometimes from scene to scene, sometimes for the individual boxes— and for this project, we’re planning to experiment with more dynamic ones. Since this is a looser, sillier work, we feel like it would fit the tone better than for Mrs. Hawking.

Then it needs the backgrounds put in over the green screens, the finding of which is a task in itself, as they need to be 4K images in order to not go too fuzzy.

Visual and audio effects are next, in order to ground and given more context to the action. I’d also like to have a soundtrack of mood-setting incidental music, which since adding it to the Hawking shows I just thought elevated it so much.

As I said, we learned a lot doing it the first time around with Mrs. Hawking, which has streamlined things a bit. But it’s a long, multi-step process, that usually has many revisions, many tweaks to make it just right. Still, I’m super excited to be actually putting it together. A large number of actors have done some amazing work, and I can’t wait to see them all virtually working together. And to get to show them a product they can be proud of!

Was doing the last checks on the Hawking digital shows-- making sure the captions were good, that sort of thing. And it had me listening to the new soundtracks we put in one last time, in hopes that we'll enrich the experience and polish up the production value. And it reminded me just how lucky I am to know and work with a talent like Cari Keebaugh, who chose most of the music in FALLEN WOMEN.

Music and sound aren't my strong point, so when she offered to help me find the right stuff, I was incredibly grateful. Her choices were thoughtful and evocative, showing her deep understanding of the story we're telling. Even her silences were well-considered; when I was handling the music for GENTLEMEN NEVER TELL, I know I struggled with where to underscore and where to let the moment stand alone. The tracks add so much to the experience of the show, and I know it would never have come out as good on my own as it did with her work and her ear. GENTLEMEN's contributes to the energy, humor, and occasional pathos of the piece, but FALLEN's is moody, contemplative, and at times heartbreaking.

Most people would probably think they were doing their friend enough of a favor by being one of the most talented people they've ever worked with. Cari goes above and beyond.

We are now at the point where everything is shot for the digital, socially-distanced Mrs. Hawking shows at Arisia 2021. It was a huge amount of work, but I’m proud of what we accomplished so far. Bernie designed a portable filming kit that was a workable balance between usability and effectiveness, I designed a system to film each actor in isolation that could be cut together later and still sound like they are speaking to one another, and the amazing cast put it all into action with a lot of talent and hard work. Team Hawking, yet again, makes it happen. :-)

It’s at the stage of being edited together now, which is Bernie’s purview, and there’s only a limited amount I can do to help. Just as the filming was my primary responsibility, the editing is his. Things are going well, and I can use a bit less intensity for a while. I’m pretty tired, since the shooting period was like having to prepare and execute a small tech week every couple of days for two months, and I  just finished my grading for the semester. But I’ve never been great at sitting back patiently and allowing other people to do their part, when I feel like I should be working on the project until it’s completed.

I am trying to use this stage of the process as a time to take a break. I’ve mostly been well, but I have been going hard lately, and I find my emotional regulation is a bit shot. Minor frustrations have hit me harder than expected, and I find I’m more sensitive than usual to discomfort. It would probably do me good to regroup a little. To that end, I’m going to start rebuilding some of the routines I had before filming took over my time. I haven’t drawn pictures or read books as part of my daily schedule in those two months, and cooking basically never happened, so I’d like to put that stuff back in.

Of course, being me, I immediately want to work on something else, if I can’t do much to help finish the shows at this stage. I’ve been wanting to do another episode of Dream Machine for a while now, so maybe I’ll noodle on that. When I had a filming kit set up in my house, I found myself daydreaming about other things I could use it for, including snappier versions of that show. But I think I need to be a little easy on myself for a bit, at least until Arisia is over.

Classes started for me this week, and since I still measure my life in semesters due to teaching college, it's a good time to take periodic stock.

I have five classes total, three at Lesley, two at North Shore, and one of the Lesley classes is online. They're all classes I've taught before, so I can reuse lesson plans, but I have to convert them into online materials for the last one. It will be a lot of grading, probably the most I've ever had at one time. But it'll be nice to be making a little more money, and I'm glad I can take a break from tutoring. The fact that I will not have evening classes is also something I'm grateful for, as I was really struggling with the summer teaching schedule I had.

I am almost done with the new Mrs. Hawking play, installment number six, though I am still mulling on the title. I was surprised to find that my early readers found the draft to be noticeably cleaner and closer to finished than previous versions, especially since I absolutely hated it in the drafting process. Maybe I really do have zero perspective on that in the midst of it. But I'm feeling much better about it now that I've gotten feedback and really useful, actionable suggestions for improvement. I think I should be able to finalize the draft within the next week or so.

Good thing, because now is the time to start preparations for the next round of Hawking production. We'll be debuting this new one this coming January, along with the reprise of last year's part V: Mrs. Frost. It's always a lot of work, but I like getting to build a new show, especially since the last few have interacted so interestingly with the previous show. It really lets us get a sense of the evolving story.

I've got a bunch of other writing projects to get going too, as soon as part 6 is settled. I need to edit the pilot of the Mrs. Hawking TV show in response to an executive I spoke to, which is my next big priority so I can get it to her in the next few weeks and she can look at it. I also want to work on editing my Adonis novel. Right now I'm concerned my worldbuilding efforts are coming off like a Wikipedia entry, or else are completely empty. I'm not sure how to fix that problem yet, but I know it will take some serious work.

I have started reading Bernard Cornwell's The Winter King on recommendation of my friend and writing mentor Mark. He thought it would serve as a good example for what I'm trying to do with my novel. I need to figure out how to give reader the scene-setting they need without drowning them in exposition.

My health is mostly good. I have been working out a lot and am in very strong, fairly sleek shape, though I've been eating a ton of sugar. Since the semester has started, I've made a resolution to cut back on the Coke and chai lattes, which are always my worst habit. I have been a little broken out on my chin, though, which makes me worried my beloved Curology treatment isn't working as well anymore. But it could also be due to the fact that I've been in a period of relatively high anxiety for a few weeks now. It's not at its peak anymore, but it's been a problem, leaving me pretty seriously burnt. Not a good way to start a new semester, but I actually think my schedule change will help. No evening classes and no long periods of having to sit in one place are much better suited to my lifestyle.

So overall I'm okay, except for the anxiety. I'm trying to get started on the right foot and make sure I'm not letting it make my good habits fall by the wayside. If I stay organized, I'll handle everything better.

This past weekend I got a chance to see the production of Mrs. Packard by Emily Mann with the Bridge Repertory Theatre. I wanted to go because Eric Cheung was in it and I enjoy watching him act, but it was also a play that was relevant to my interests-- it took place in the 1850's and was about a woman who'd been unfairly committed to a mental institution because of her outspoken views that challenged those of her husband. Obviously I'm very interested in the feminist issues of that time period, so I was excited to see what it was about and how they would do it.

Overall I enjoyed the production very much. It took place in this gorgeous open-room theater at the Multicultural Arts Center in Cambridge, with elaborate crenellated architecture and a beautiful balcony ringing around the top of it. The set and costumes were lovely, in low-key grays and blues, and the space was shaped by large curtains that they pushed in and out to make frames. It was clearly a very professional production, with high acting quality, direction, and production value all around, though not all of the actors were exactly to my taste. The woman playing Mrs. Packard, while clearly talented, didn't appeal to me. She was very broad and without a lot of emotional levels-- she was kind of at eleven for the entire performance with little variation. I also noticed that Mr. Packard was played by the guy who read for Lord Brockton at the very first ever reading of Mrs. Hawking part one that happened at my grad school and was organized by my teachers. As for the script, overall I enjoyed the story, though I would say it was a bit heavy handed with its ideas, full of people talking alternately how absurd and how important it was for women to be able to speak their minds, depending on which side of the argument they represented.

It also spurred a lot of thoughts about how I wanted to incorporate mental health abuses as an issue in the Mrs. Hawking plays. The idea that a woman can be committed for behaving what the men in her life believe is "strange" or "inappropriate" is definitely a good source of threat for those stories. Honestly it's probably something Mrs. Hawking has specifically been concerned about that causes her to so carefully hide her activities. I actually already have an idea for utilizing it, though not until parts five and six. Those are a way off, but in watching Mrs. Packard it got me thinking about how I want to execute on those concepts. I am not going in the same direction as Mrs. Packard takes, but I hope it make it meaningful and really invoke the horror that a woman could be committed against her will, not because she's mad, but because she doesn't obey or conform.

New post on Mrshawking.com!



"Building a prop Victorian gramophone"

People who have experience in the field of properties for the stage may be familiar with a dilemma I’ve run into in producing the Mrs. Hawking plays. Sometimes, your script will call for a specific prop that expensive or difficult to acquire that is needed for only a scene or two, but is integral enough to the plot that it can’t be changed or cut. That means you’re stuck investing in getting or making the damn thing, even though it’s going to be a lot of effort for not a ton of use.

For Base Instruments, we’ve talked about the challenges of one specific setting. But the showpiece prop in that one will be the gramophone.

Read the rest of the entry on Mrshawking.com!

New post on Mrshawking.com!

"The new portrait of the Colonel"

You may remember that for last year’s Mrs. Hawking productions we made this portrait to serve as the framed photograph of the Colonel that hangs above the mantlepiece in the Hawking parlor. I liked this portrait because it was a genuine Victorian image, with a sort of quiet sadness in the look in the gentleman’s eyes. But now we are not only performing Mrs. Hawking, but also Vivat Regina, which you may have noted contains explicit reference to what that portrait looks like. Specifically, it’s a significant moment when Mrs. Hawking expresses her discomfort with Nathaniel’s resemblance to her late husband. With that resemblance being pointed out in the dialogue, it doesn’t really serve to have just any old person’s image hanging there for all the audience to see.



Read the rest of the entry on Mrshawking.com!

Mrs. Hawking by Phoebe Roberts will be performed January 15th at 8PM and January 16th at 4PM and Vivat Regina by Phoebe Roberts January 17th at 1PM at the Westin Waterfront Hotel as part of Arisia 2016.