Depression and disability
May. 29th, 2014 11:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
breakinglight11Just some musings on depression while I’m in a certain frame of mind.
I am prone to depression. I hate admitting that, because everybody’s depressed these days and it’s not like my burden’s heavier than anybody else’s, so what am I complaining for, but it’s unfortunately the truth. I am fairly certain it occurs only situationally— I can never remember experiencing it when I was not going through a difficult period —and that if I didn’t have anything that upset me, I would not feel the symptoms. But the hopelessness I feel in times of trouble seem in excess of simple sadness or grief.
So I guess I count as “having depression.” But even when the depression was at its worst, even when my mental state was negative to the point of despair, I always stayed functional. I was still busy and active, still highly productive, still always keeping the commitments I made. I never demonstrated any self-injurious behavior. Except for rare isolated occasions, my eating and sleeping habits remained healthy. I mean, I was still desperately unhappy and something needed to be done about that. But I wouldn’t say my depression “disabled” me. In fact, I think if a person can push on to that degree even while feeling that bad, that is the opposite of “disabled.”
Depression is a mental illness, and I would never tell someone with a mental illness that they didn’t have a real disability. But even at its worst, I definitely would not say that depression made me count as “disabled.” Still, I’m not sure that suggests an objective metric. I don’t think it’s right where people police each other for being “mentally ill enough” because they’re “only” feeling despairing and hopeless and still manage to hold their life together. I honestly reject that label for myself, but I don’t think it would be fair to invalidate it for another person in my position if it felt right to that person. So what is the definition? What’s the difference between a discontented able-bodied person and a person disabled by their mental illness? And what’s the difference in how they should be treated-- if not medically, what allowances made?
I am prone to depression. I hate admitting that, because everybody’s depressed these days and it’s not like my burden’s heavier than anybody else’s, so what am I complaining for, but it’s unfortunately the truth. I am fairly certain it occurs only situationally— I can never remember experiencing it when I was not going through a difficult period —and that if I didn’t have anything that upset me, I would not feel the symptoms. But the hopelessness I feel in times of trouble seem in excess of simple sadness or grief.
So I guess I count as “having depression.” But even when the depression was at its worst, even when my mental state was negative to the point of despair, I always stayed functional. I was still busy and active, still highly productive, still always keeping the commitments I made. I never demonstrated any self-injurious behavior. Except for rare isolated occasions, my eating and sleeping habits remained healthy. I mean, I was still desperately unhappy and something needed to be done about that. But I wouldn’t say my depression “disabled” me. In fact, I think if a person can push on to that degree even while feeling that bad, that is the opposite of “disabled.”
Depression is a mental illness, and I would never tell someone with a mental illness that they didn’t have a real disability. But even at its worst, I definitely would not say that depression made me count as “disabled.” Still, I’m not sure that suggests an objective metric. I don’t think it’s right where people police each other for being “mentally ill enough” because they’re “only” feeling despairing and hopeless and still manage to hold their life together. I honestly reject that label for myself, but I don’t think it would be fair to invalidate it for another person in my position if it felt right to that person. So what is the definition? What’s the difference between a discontented able-bodied person and a person disabled by their mental illness? And what’s the difference in how they should be treated-- if not medically, what allowances made?
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