31 Plays in 31 Days, #29 - "Round Two"

[breakinglight11]

Blaaaargh, why am I posting this stuff? Don't wanna. Just need to finish, and God forbid I break my streak of completing an arbitrary challenge structure that's not actually all that useful to my finishing work anymore!

Day #29 - "Round Two"
From Mrs. Frost
By Phoebe Roberts

NATHANIEL HAWKING, assistant to the lady's society avenger, early thirties
ROLAND DAVIES, Mrs. Frost's hatchet man, late twenties

London, England, 1886
~~~

(ROLAND approaches NATHANIEL, tied to a chair.)

NATHANIEL:

Round two, then. Just you and me now, my man.

ROLAND:

You know how it’s going to go, Mr. Hawking. Until you talk.

NATHANIEL:

Well. That I can do. What would you like? The cricket scores?

(ROLAND punches him.)

NATHANIEL:

Or perhaps you’re more of a rugger man? My father’s spring foals are coming up nicely; do you follow horseflesh?

(Again.)

NATHANIEL:

Literature, then! My daughter’s halfway through Wuthering Heights, and she has ever so many opinions on that ruddy Heathcliff.

(Again.)

ROLAND:

I know you’re being clever. But just one way to stop this, guv.

NATHANIEL:

Don’t blame me, sir. I thought Catherine was better off with Edgar. But I’m always soft on the nice chaps.

ROLAND:

Right, then. Your funeral.

NATHANIEL:

Best be ready, then. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

(Hit.)

ROLAND:

I can keep this up far longer than you can. One more?

NATHANIEL:

And one, and two! And through and through! The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back!

(Again. Then ROLAND, reconsidering, goes to get his knife.)

NATHANIEL:

And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms— my beamish boy!