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breakinglight11Went to the beach with lovely people yesterday, and had a lovely time but got nothing done. So I have to play catch up today— particularly with finalizing the syllabus for a class I’ve never taught before, so I’m basically making it from scratch. That’s a lot of work.
But I’m also trying to edit and expand the script for Mrs. Hawking 1, including to fix some of the logical flow problems I’m no longer satisfied with. That’s also what I was attempting with #24 - The Good Nephew. Here’s a scene I’d like to add that reshapes Mary’s struggle to fit in before Mrs. Hawking lets her into her secret, and the mechanics of how Mary becomes aware of her work and ultimately understands her well enough to figure out how she can help on the current mission.
Day #24 - “The Sixth Girl”
From Mrs. Hawking
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
VICTORIA HAWKING, secretly lady’s champion of London, early forties
MARY STONE, her new housemaid, early twenties
Cedric Brockton, LORD BROCKTON, a society blackmailer, mid forties
JOHN COLCHESTER, his henchman, early twenties
A FOOTMAN at Claridge’s tearoom
Another MAID COMPANION
London, England, 1880
~~~
(Claridge’s tearoom. MRS. HAWKING and MARY enter to a FOOTMAN, who conducts them to a table.)
MRS. HAWKING: Mrs. Victoria Hawking, for Mrs. Celeste Fairmont.
MARY: We’re still early. Your friend may not have arrived yet.
MRS. HAWKING: We are not friends. But we have a common concern.
MARY: Have you known her long?
MRS. HAWKING: No. I have not. Now take my coat to the footmen. I shall wait at the table.
(She hands off her coat and sits, while Mary carries it to where the footman stands with another maid companion.)
FOOTMAN: I don’t believe there’s any such thing.
MAID: Honest. Folks been seeing him around a lot. Running on rooftops in the hood.
MARY: Do you mean-- the one in the black mask?
FOOTMAN: You heard of him too?
MARY: I’ve seen him. He rescued me, when I was finding my way in Kensington.
(As they speak, LORD CEDRIC BROCKTON and JOHN COLCHESTER pass through, in intense conference. MRS. HAWKING observes them intently.)
FOOTMAN: Who are you? Haven’t seen you ‘round before.
MARY: I’ve just come to Mrs. Hawking, the Colonel’s widow.
MAID: Oh, so you’re the next one.
MARY: Beg pardon?
MAID: You must be the fifth girl they got in over there. None of them lasted more than six months. Wouldn’t worry about no black masks. You won’t be around long enough to make no never mind.
(MAID and FOOTMAN exit, just as BROCKTON and COLCHESTER finish their conferring. She turns back to the table, only to run into MRS. HAWKING, striding back to the door.)
MARY: Madam?
MRS. HAWKING: Something’s come up. Fetch my coat and take it home with you.
MARY: But I thought you were meeting Mrs. Fairmont--
MRS. HAWKING: For heaven’s sake, girl! Do as you’re told!
But I’m also trying to edit and expand the script for Mrs. Hawking 1, including to fix some of the logical flow problems I’m no longer satisfied with. That’s also what I was attempting with #24 - The Good Nephew. Here’s a scene I’d like to add that reshapes Mary’s struggle to fit in before Mrs. Hawking lets her into her secret, and the mechanics of how Mary becomes aware of her work and ultimately understands her well enough to figure out how she can help on the current mission.
Day #24 - “The Sixth Girl”
From Mrs. Hawking
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
VICTORIA HAWKING, secretly lady’s champion of London, early forties
MARY STONE, her new housemaid, early twenties
Cedric Brockton, LORD BROCKTON, a society blackmailer, mid forties
JOHN COLCHESTER, his henchman, early twenties
A FOOTMAN at Claridge’s tearoom
Another MAID COMPANION
London, England, 1880
~~~
(Claridge’s tearoom. MRS. HAWKING and MARY enter to a FOOTMAN, who conducts them to a table.)
MRS. HAWKING: Mrs. Victoria Hawking, for Mrs. Celeste Fairmont.
MARY: We’re still early. Your friend may not have arrived yet.
MRS. HAWKING: We are not friends. But we have a common concern.
MARY: Have you known her long?
MRS. HAWKING: No. I have not. Now take my coat to the footmen. I shall wait at the table.
(She hands off her coat and sits, while Mary carries it to where the footman stands with another maid companion.)
FOOTMAN: I don’t believe there’s any such thing.
MAID: Honest. Folks been seeing him around a lot. Running on rooftops in the hood.
MARY: Do you mean-- the one in the black mask?
FOOTMAN: You heard of him too?
MARY: I’ve seen him. He rescued me, when I was finding my way in Kensington.
(As they speak, LORD CEDRIC BROCKTON and JOHN COLCHESTER pass through, in intense conference. MRS. HAWKING observes them intently.)
FOOTMAN: Who are you? Haven’t seen you ‘round before.
MARY: I’ve just come to Mrs. Hawking, the Colonel’s widow.
MAID: Oh, so you’re the next one.
MARY: Beg pardon?
MAID: You must be the fifth girl they got in over there. None of them lasted more than six months. Wouldn’t worry about no black masks. You won’t be around long enough to make no never mind.
(MAID and FOOTMAN exit, just as BROCKTON and COLCHESTER finish their conferring. She turns back to the table, only to run into MRS. HAWKING, striding back to the door.)
MARY: Madam?
MRS. HAWKING: Something’s come up. Fetch my coat and take it home with you.
MARY: But I thought you were meeting Mrs. Fairmont--
MRS. HAWKING: For heaven’s sake, girl! Do as you’re told!
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