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breakinglight11Forever Captain:
“His Part to Play”
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
Summary: “Steve Rogers has retired to the 1940s to build a new life with Peggy. In leaving behind the mantle of Captain America, at last he’s got a measure of peace. Still, Steve will never stop feeling the responsibility to step up as a hero— except he's not sure how much power his actions have at this point in the timeline. Somehow he must reconcile his new life and identity with the responsibility and burden of being a hero out of time.”
Previous chapters:
1. Lost Time
2. Building
3. Reaching
4. Bonds
5. Ghost
6. Stag Night
7. Wingmen
8. Mr. Carter
9. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
10. Suiting Up
11. On Maneuvers
12. Waiting
Chapter summary: Steve struggles with his exile from the delivery room while Peggy’s in labor.
“His Part to Play”
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
Summary: “Steve Rogers has retired to the 1940s to build a new life with Peggy. In leaving behind the mantle of Captain America, at last he’s got a measure of peace. Still, Steve will never stop feeling the responsibility to step up as a hero— except he's not sure how much power his actions have at this point in the timeline. Somehow he must reconcile his new life and identity with the responsibility and burden of being a hero out of time.”
Previous chapters:
1. Lost Time
2. Building
3. Reaching
4. Bonds
5. Ghost
6. Stag Night
7. Wingmen
8. Mr. Carter
9. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
10. Suiting Up
11. On Maneuvers
12. Waiting
Chapter summary: Steve struggles with his exile from the delivery room while Peggy’s in labor.
~~~
13. The World’s Oldest Battle
He stood a moment, rooted to the spot, frustration almost vibrating through him, before collapsing uselessly into a nearby chair. He’d forgotten about this part of the culture; how fathers were banished from the delivery room to smoke, fret, and wait outside. His distress at this shocked even him; Peggy had been handling herself running missions in dangerous conditions for years now, but the thought that she was facing this without him was more than he could bear.
Lottie squeaked from across the room. “I’m so, so sorry, Mr. Carter! I guess I should have checked in sooner, but—”
“The office had to relay the message,” he finished for her, voice dull. “You couldn’t have known when it came in.” Steve had never become quite the smartphone addict the average twenty-first century New Yorker was, but he’d never missed direct mobile communication more than in that moment. He kicked himself for not thinking to ask Howard if he had something, at least for emergencies, with Peggy this close to her due date. But even Howard Stark wasn’t quite able to replicate a cell tower in 1950.
“I told them to call the front desk,” Lottie went on. “If any more news came in. Just in case. But— if she’s here, I guess they won’t hear from her before we will. I guess I could start asking the staff— but do they already know who to talk to? Should— should I ask them? I’m not sure—”
She was really starting to wind herself up when Harlan cut in. “Hey there, miss,” he said. “Looks like, whatever else, it’s going to be a long night. Do you think you could scare us up a cup of coffee from somewhere?”
Her face lit up behind her cat-eyes. “Yes. Coffee! I can do that. Be back in a jiff, Mr. Carter.” She marched off again, the renewed purpose seeming to steady her.
Steve sighed and relaxed a little; Lottie was a good kid, but the stress rambling was becoming a bit much. Harlan observed his reaction and half-smiled. “I thought she could use something to do.”
Steve chuffed. “What about me? I could have gotten the coffee.”
“Sure. But you’re going to want to be here in case there’s news.”
With that, he couldn’t argue. He tried to settle into the chair, but the push to pace was almost overwhelming, and he felt like a tiger in a cage.
Harlan cleared his throat. “Fancy a game of cards?”
He blew out a labored breath. “I don’t think I could get my head in it.”
“Probably not. But better than wearing a hole through the floor.”
Steve sighed and shifted awkwardly, trying to fit his frame in the narrow seat. “Maybe by our third, I’ll be as cool as you.”
Harlan chuckled. “Pal, if I had a handle on things, all my kids would have been out of diapers before I was forty.”
Steve couldn’t help but wince. He was forty-one, technically, but for a host of reasons, he knew it wasn't the same. “What do they call it? Miracle baby?”
“Caught us by surprise, if I’m honest. Not that we’re not grateful— I never minded the idea of a third —but we’d figured it wasn’t going to happen by now. And we’re not spring chickens anymore.”
Steve leaned over, elbows to knees, raking a distracted hand through his hair. “How do you do it?” he asked at last, looking up at Harlan. “Just… keep your head and let it happen? Even knowing all that?”
The older man shrugged. “Just have to trust, I suppose. Pearl and me, we been through a lot in twenty years. She ain’t let me down yet.” He smiled. “Don’t you sell your girl short, either.”
Heaven knew, Peggy could handle herself; she had been before she met him, had continued when she thought she lost him, and would go on no matter what lay ahead. But now that he was here, he’d promised to stand with her, to make it so she didn’t have to face things alone. “No, sir. Just wish there was something I could do.”
“I hear you.” Harlan leaned back, puffing meditatively on his cigarette. “But it’s in God’s hands now.”
“Maybe,” Steve admitted, rubbing his brow. “But it feels so wrong to just… wait and do nothing.”
“Son,” Harlan said, very kindly. “Sometimes, there is just nothing you can do.”
It was a truth Steve had never managed to learn, not really, not in his bones. Captain America was the one who was supposed to be able to do something— that was the point of the Avengers, that in the direst of circumstances, they could fight the battles no one else could. That had been the point of his life since he’d picked up the shield.
He recalled the bleak years in the the wake of the snap, when even hunting down Thanos had been for nothing. One might think the lesson would have sunk in then, trying to rebuild in the time they’d believed there was no way to undo what had been done. But though it took five years, with Scott’s return and Tony’s invention they eventually did the impossible— they found a way to take action and restore the world. How could it be, Steve marveled, that a man who had found a way to shift the very coursing of time and space, had to sit in a waiting room while the woman he loved fought the world’s oldest battle alone?
He glanced up when he heard Lottie return.
~~~
Next chapter: 14. A Pinch of Salt
13. The World’s Oldest Battle
He stood a moment, rooted to the spot, frustration almost vibrating through him, before collapsing uselessly into a nearby chair. He’d forgotten about this part of the culture; how fathers were banished from the delivery room to smoke, fret, and wait outside. His distress at this shocked even him; Peggy had been handling herself running missions in dangerous conditions for years now, but the thought that she was facing this without him was more than he could bear.
Lottie squeaked from across the room. “I’m so, so sorry, Mr. Carter! I guess I should have checked in sooner, but—”
“The office had to relay the message,” he finished for her, voice dull. “You couldn’t have known when it came in.” Steve had never become quite the smartphone addict the average twenty-first century New Yorker was, but he’d never missed direct mobile communication more than in that moment. He kicked himself for not thinking to ask Howard if he had something, at least for emergencies, with Peggy this close to her due date. But even Howard Stark wasn’t quite able to replicate a cell tower in 1950.
“I told them to call the front desk,” Lottie went on. “If any more news came in. Just in case. But— if she’s here, I guess they won’t hear from her before we will. I guess I could start asking the staff— but do they already know who to talk to? Should— should I ask them? I’m not sure—”
She was really starting to wind herself up when Harlan cut in. “Hey there, miss,” he said. “Looks like, whatever else, it’s going to be a long night. Do you think you could scare us up a cup of coffee from somewhere?”
Her face lit up behind her cat-eyes. “Yes. Coffee! I can do that. Be back in a jiff, Mr. Carter.” She marched off again, the renewed purpose seeming to steady her.
Steve sighed and relaxed a little; Lottie was a good kid, but the stress rambling was becoming a bit much. Harlan observed his reaction and half-smiled. “I thought she could use something to do.”
Steve chuffed. “What about me? I could have gotten the coffee.”
“Sure. But you’re going to want to be here in case there’s news.”
With that, he couldn’t argue. He tried to settle into the chair, but the push to pace was almost overwhelming, and he felt like a tiger in a cage.
Harlan cleared his throat. “Fancy a game of cards?”
He blew out a labored breath. “I don’t think I could get my head in it.”
“Probably not. But better than wearing a hole through the floor.”
Steve sighed and shifted awkwardly, trying to fit his frame in the narrow seat. “Maybe by our third, I’ll be as cool as you.”
Harlan chuckled. “Pal, if I had a handle on things, all my kids would have been out of diapers before I was forty.”
Steve couldn’t help but wince. He was forty-one, technically, but for a host of reasons, he knew it wasn't the same. “What do they call it? Miracle baby?”
“Caught us by surprise, if I’m honest. Not that we’re not grateful— I never minded the idea of a third —but we’d figured it wasn’t going to happen by now. And we’re not spring chickens anymore.”
Steve leaned over, elbows to knees, raking a distracted hand through his hair. “How do you do it?” he asked at last, looking up at Harlan. “Just… keep your head and let it happen? Even knowing all that?”
The older man shrugged. “Just have to trust, I suppose. Pearl and me, we been through a lot in twenty years. She ain’t let me down yet.” He smiled. “Don’t you sell your girl short, either.”
Heaven knew, Peggy could handle herself; she had been before she met him, had continued when she thought she lost him, and would go on no matter what lay ahead. But now that he was here, he’d promised to stand with her, to make it so she didn’t have to face things alone. “No, sir. Just wish there was something I could do.”
“I hear you.” Harlan leaned back, puffing meditatively on his cigarette. “But it’s in God’s hands now.”
“Maybe,” Steve admitted, rubbing his brow. “But it feels so wrong to just… wait and do nothing.”
“Son,” Harlan said, very kindly. “Sometimes, there is just nothing you can do.”
It was a truth Steve had never managed to learn, not really, not in his bones. Captain America was the one who was supposed to be able to do something— that was the point of the Avengers, that in the direst of circumstances, they could fight the battles no one else could. That had been the point of his life since he’d picked up the shield.
He recalled the bleak years in the the wake of the snap, when even hunting down Thanos had been for nothing. One might think the lesson would have sunk in then, trying to rebuild in the time they’d believed there was no way to undo what had been done. But though it took five years, with Scott’s return and Tony’s invention they eventually did the impossible— they found a way to take action and restore the world. How could it be, Steve marveled, that a man who had found a way to shift the very coursing of time and space, had to sit in a waiting room while the woman he loved fought the world’s oldest battle alone?
He glanced up when he heard Lottie return.
~~~
Next chapter: 14. A Pinch of Salt
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