31 Plays in 31 Days, #6 - “Alien Parasite”

[breakinglight11]

Another sitcommy bit for Dream Machine. Not sure where this would be used, but I know I want an element to be Ryan repairing his relationship with his adult kids. I thought it would be particularly interesting if his daughter Meryl, from whom he was completely estranged and who lives a totally anti-Hollywood life, also gets at his issues about getting older by being married and starting a family young. It also gives a chance for that very classic sitcom scenario of “trapped in an elevator with a pregnant lady”— and who better to force into that situation than Leah, who is incapable of being normal about anything?

In writing this, I wondered if maybe I could write an entire Alien parody, with Leah in the Ripley role, and, because I’m perverse, Meryl as the alien queen. SOMETHING TO NOODLE ON.



Day #6 - “Alien Parasite”
From Dream Machine

Leah Lucchesi, head writer of the “Offcomer” series, mid-thirties
Meryl Dresden, Ryan’s daughter, early twenties

(Leah and Meryl walk into the elevator and press the button.)

LEAH: Look, I’m really sorry, it’s just— pregnant women make me uncomfortable, okay?

MERYL: Oh, really? I wasn’t picking up on that.

LEAH: Have you ever seen the movie Alien?

MERYL: I know this shocks everybody around here, but I actually don’t orient my life around watching stuff.

LEAH: Ew. That sounds boring. Well, anyway, the whole point of it is there’s this unstoppable raging space penis punching holes in everybody, until one badass woman blows it the hell into space.

MERYL: Wow. You make it sound so artistic. And what does that have to do with the subject at hand?

LEAH: Well, the lifecycle of the rampaging space penis includes putting these gross little gnawing worm monsters inside people, and they wiggle around in there destroying stuff until they explode their way out.

MERYL: Ah. I see where this is going.

LEAH: I mean, they just blow this massive hole when they come out of you—

MERYL: I said I get it—

LEAH: —leaving this pile of ripped up meat behind, and you’re just ruined— absolutely ruined! —by having had this thing inside you.

MERYL: Yes, thank you—

LEAH: And then it goes around destroying everything around you!

MERYL: Yeah! Okay! The metaphor is clear!

LEAH: Yeah. So. You get what I’m saying.

MERYL: Yes. I’m really sorry to disgust you with my pile of meat, just waiting to be ruined.

LEAH: No, it isn’t you! You’re not the problem! Just your—

MERYL: Alien parasite. I know. Well. Don’t worry, I’ll be out of here soon, and you won’t have to eject me out the airlock.

LEAH: I told you, it’s not you—

(The elevator kerchunks to a stop. They stare at each other.)