breakinglight11 | Knots (Reply)

Not sleeping well lately, as you may have gathered by the fact that I'm posting at quarter to 4AM. Very unlike me, as I usually crash at midnight. I'm not sure if all the Snapple I've been pounding has caused such a spike in my caffiene levels, or if my stomach ache is getting to be too much.

I'm stressed lately. Moreso than I had been, now. I have sad feelings over some stuff I've recently had to deal with that has made things significantly worse. The trouble is, these new bad feelings are not reasonable; they are not over anything I have any right to be bothered by. I acknowledge that, I recognize that. I'm quite disgusted with myself that I've gotten to this point at all; I cannot accept such selfishness in myself. But still, I feel bad. I worry that the only way to feel better is to do something selfish, and otherwise my stomach stays in knots.

I'm going to do the right thing. I have to; I couldn't live with myself otherwise. It's better to hurt.