How does anybody ever get a play put on?

This weekend I made a point of looking up as many theaters that accept open script submissions that I could find. I sent out a bunch of things, and am planning on sending out several more. I'm fairly pessimistic about whether anything will come of it, but at the moment it's all I really know to do right now.

I hear of classmates of mine getting productions here and there, and I don't understand how they do it. Do they know people? Are they just luckier? I hope so, because the alternative is to think that I'm just not good enough and they're all so much better than me. I really really don't want to believe that.

I have a lot of moments where I can't quit thinking that nothing's ever going to come of my writing. That I'm wasting two years and putting myself in debt for a degree that's never going to get me anywhere. But it's what I want, and the alternative is not really making me happy, so I guess I just need to keep working on making it happen. Guess I just wish I knew it would pay off eventually. I could struggle forever if I was sure that it was getting me somewhere, but it's hard to keep going when you're not at all sure your effort isn't ultimately going to come to nothing. Positive thinking has never been my strong suit, but I resolved this Lent to try to do more of it. That's why I'm trying to take positive actions, because sometimes you can control how you act a lot more easily than you can control how you think.

I am beginning to want more and more to just do it myself. To start my own theater company where I can act and write as I please. I'm tired of waiting around for other people to decide whether or not I'm allowed. I'm not sure if this is a crazy idea, as it probably takes a lot more capital than I have free to get something like that going, but I hate being at the mercy of other people. You guys all know that I am much more inclined to do all the work myself if it gets me what I want rather than wait around for somebody else's permission. Unfortunately I'm not sure if this is just plain too far outside my means to handle under my own power.

Salmon in a nut and balsamic crust

Lately I've been so busy that my cooking has been uncreative and repetitive, so much so that it hasn't been really worth writing about here. I mean, I'm proud of myself for even making time for it at all, but I have reached the point in developing my skill that I should be trying to push the envelope a little more rather than making the same old things over and over. This Saturday I cooked one of the few original dishes I've ever come up with, and I was pleased enough with the results that I want to share it with you now.

I've developed a taste for marcona almonds ever since my mother introduced me to them last Christmas. The good ones are sweet and oily and I've discovered recently you can buy decent ones at Hannaford. Jared and I eat a lot of fish, so the other day when I was trying to think of a new way to prepare a quick fish dinner I decided to use the almonds. I put them in a pie plate with some pecans and smashed them up with a mallet. Then I mixed them with panko, those extra-crispy Japanese breadcrumbs, and laid the stuff out over the top of a big fillet of pollock. I poured some melted butter over the top, baked it for eight minutes at 400 degrees, and got a delicious crusted whitefish dinner.

That was tasty, but that's not the recipe I wanted to share. I had a lot of the crushed nut and panko mixture left over, so the next night I decided to take it a step further. I bought a nice thick slice of salmon fillet to get a different sort of flavor than the pollock. I covered it with the nut and crumb mixture just as before, but then I got out a skillet and melted three tablespoons of butter in it. When the butter was browned and foamy, I poured in about half a cup of balsamic vinegar, mixed it up, and let it reduce until it started to get thick. Then I poured it over the crusted salmon. In a 400 degree oven this time it took about twelve minutes, but it depends on the thickness of the piece of fish you're cooking. This, friends, was even more delicious than the version before. I am really proud of this idea, and I think I matched the salmon and the balsamic well. I want to come up with more original dishes, which will only happen if I can manage to get myself planning ahead a little bit more.