Finally happy

I never made a formal announcement over LiveJournal, but the 21st marks one month since Bernie and I officially started dating. I can't believe how different my life is, how different things can be.

I've loved him for a long time. I never acted upon that in any way that would have violated the boundaries of the relationship I was in, but it became clearer and clearer that even then he was my real emotional support, much more of a true partner. I waited four months after the breakup, but after that I felt I was ready to move forward with my life.

It's been so good. We don't really have that happy shiny new person feeling, as I think that part actually happened years ago before we could ever actually date, but I've learned not to trust that feeling anyway. Instead everything just feels better. I feel calmer, stronger, more able to handle struggle without losing it. He makes me happy, truly, consistently, in a way I haven't been in years. Finally the depression is gone. It was like getting over an addiction. It was hell during the detox period, but now that it's over, I feel so much freer, healthier, like I have my life back.