Finished this round of Tailor screenplay edits

Submitted my Tailor screenplay to the contest today. Fairly sure that there will be so many other entries I don't have much of a chance, but what the hell. It forced me to revise, to turn my few, very long scenes into many, significantly shorter scenes, which is necessary for modern screenwriting. I think the script is much, much improved now, tighter and snappier, though probably still not perfect. It's probably still too talky, though it is definitely more visual than before. It's also quite a few pages shorter, going from one seventeen down to one oh nine. Whatever, it is submitted now, and I am proud of myself for making it better.

Most scenes are just edited, but one scene I completely redid. I was never quite happy with how I did the scene of Alice and Tom having their first real conversation together, the one where the connection between them was supposed to spark. It was incredibly difficult for me to re-envision it, and it was actually the last thing remaining to accomplish.

I ended up going to the gender well, in a way I had kind of resolved not to before. I didn't want to make an issue of a male dressmaker like Tom, as I didn't want the reader/viewer thinking too much of it. And as you may know, I have a liking for traditionally masculine men doing traditionally feminine things. But throwing it in there worked, gave opportunity to bring a few things up about Tom's passion for the craft-- which was really the element that hadn't been fully explored yet, and really did belong in that conversation. And I don't think it messes up my schema too much.

Read the scene for yourself and see how it came out:

( "Tailoring suits is like architecture, and dressmaking feels like art." )