No fortitude

I hate how fragile I feel lately. Like I have no fortitude to handle anything negative. Lately, any time anything is unpleasant to manage, any hard truth, and any failure on my part makes me feel so wrecked. It's stupid and I hate it and I should bear up and be less of a wuss, but I feel tapped out.

But I don't want to be treated any differently. I don't want to be the sort of person who can't handle criticism or failure. I also hate the idea that people are hiding things from me because they think I'm too delicate to take it. That's incredibly stupid, I shouldn't be such a wuss. Life is full of hard things and necessary criticisms from others, so I can't say oh, I need to hide from everything negative because it makes me sad.

Like, I've heard from the third person so far that the servants characters in Brockhurst don't work due to power dynamics, and I hate the whole game now. I have to rescind my assessment that the game went well or is good if only the upper-class characters had a good time. I don't want people acting like it's better than it is, I want to hear the critiques people have so I have a realistic picture of what needs works, but they're hitting me so hard. I can't help but feel sorry I killed myself to write the damn thing if only a fraction of the players had fun.

I don't know. I don't know what to do with myself.