Current emotional state

[breakinglight11]

So after about a month of a consistently even emotional state, I have determined that I've emerged from the bad period I was stuck in for a good long while. I am glad about that, as I was getting to a very bad place. What brought me out of it was the month of April being jam-packed with positive activities to take my focus off myself and my sadness and leave me no time to dwell on it. It's true that things that take you outside of yourself and change your negative thought patterns are a good way to pull you out of depression. That's how it worked for me.

The one thing that's troubling me is this. The stuff that was bringing me down still exists. Those problems have not since gone away. And it occurs to me that the reason they are not still bringing me down is... I'm not thinking about them. Just... have kind of forgotten about them for the moment. And this bothers me because, while I'm grateful to not be so down, I feel like denial is ultimately going to make things worse. It means I'm not changing them, not working on making them better. What if I get into the habit of just ignoring them because it's the only way I avoid being depressed and then they never get dealt with?

I guess I will have to be careful. God knows nothing I tried to do to fix things was working, so maybe it's beyond my power, at least for now. As long as I resolve not to let them go unattended forever, maybe it's okay if I forget them for the time being to rebuild some of my strength reserves. Maybe for the time being, it's the best I can hope for.

Comments

[valleyviolet.livejournal.com]

Sometimes you just need a break, that's ok. If you can do little, low risk things to improve stuff that you're worried about, I would do that (chip away at it slowly). If not, just leave it alone and don't stress about it.

If you start feeling down again, I would pay attention to when in the year it starts. Suddenly pulling out of depression in the spring can be a sign that you need more light (specifically full spectrum) and exercise in the winter months. It could also be just a coincidence. It's good to know, since putting in full spectrum bulbs is cheap and shockingly effective for some people. (It's roughly equivalent to moving further south, but clearly we can't all do that. ;)

For the moment, don't worry about it. Enjoy feeling good. Be productive. Work on the things that make you happy. :)