Anxiety up

[breakinglight11]

I am getting nervous and stressed again. Mom spent most of last week in the hospital due to a complication from a biopsy she had, and had to be treated for a respiratory infection and a leaking, partially collapsed lung. She's all right now, or all right as she can be given the circumstances, but now it's time for her to go back into chemo. God knows how this kind will affect her. I really need to get down there to visit sometime in the next month or so. Work makes that tough-- I'm taking off for a week to go to school, so I'm not sure if I can swing getting off another Friday or something so soon --but even if it's a painfully short trip, I have to make it happen.

School makes me nervous too. I've started to work myself up about having to focus for ten hours at time in a manner I haven't had to for two years now. It probably won't be nearly as bad as I worry, but it's hard to shake the apprehension. I still need to lay in supplies for the week, so I can prepare lunches to take with me, and figure out what to pack and how to carry it. And nail down the commuter rail schedule I'll be using to get in and out of Cambridge. Gah, not really difficult tasks, but my brain just doesn't feel up to logistics right now.

I really want to get sewing. I think it might be nice for me to have a project that requires using my hands and a different kind of thought than the possibly-rusted academic skills I am going to have to put into overdrive this week. But there is no good way in the world to tell a cancer patient who just spent a week in the hospital and is going back into chemo again, "Yeah, yeah, but when are you going to find time to send me the sewing machine?" 

Comments

[acousticshadow2.livejournal.com]

If you want I can come up for a day sometime (Wednesdays are good for me) and you can borrow my sewing machine while I waste my day off reading, or playing internet games or working on writing my larp.

[katiescarlett29.livejournal.com]

*hug* I love you, and I'm here for you if you feel like ranting to relieve stress and nerves.

You'll do great in school, I know it. For all that you've been out of academia for awhile, you have spent a considerable amount of time concentrating your attentions on specific projects, and I think that sort of concentration-skill transfers.

[laurion]

Bleargh. That sounds like such a set of heavy blankets on the mind. I'm sorry to hear it, and hope you can get out of the mental suffocations soon.

[valleyviolet.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Have you told your boss what's happening with your mom? I know it's rough talking about stuff like that with work people, but generally folks are very understanding about needing leave to spend time with family in this kind of situation.

*extra hugs*