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[personal profile] breakinglight11
Given to me by [livejournal.com profile] rigel for the 7 Topics Meme:

- Self-analysis through theater
- Religion
- Performance in LARPing
- Dressing for fuller-figured women
- Self-control
- Cooking
- Generosity

Now I'm going to talk about self-control. I tend to see self-control as a positive, necessary thing. It can require a lot of discipline to accomplish and is often required to doing the right thing. But I try not to think of it so much as "Stop yourself from doing the bad things you're naturally inclined to do," and more about "Make yourself do the good things you know you should but are hard for some reason."

Sometimes for me it is about the first one. I have a pretty bad temper these days. I didn't always, it just developed over the last few years or so due I think to having a greater amount of struggle and frustration in my life than I ever had before. But it makes me act like a real ass, so I should be doing my damnedest to see that when I feel it boiling over, I make sure my behavior is controlled. I really dislike when people behave badly for failing to impose proper control on their impulses. We are thinking, reasoning creatures; emotions are powerful and significant, worth taking into consideration, but they should not rule us.

To a certain extent, I think any instance of doing the right thing when it's hard is a matter of self-control. I don't think it's all right to fail to do the right thing just because it conflicts with your personal desires. You must control your baser instincts when you wish to avoid responsibility that is yours, to tell lies that are convenient to you, to violate bonds and promises that no longer match up with your personal wishes. These are bigger things that just "don't eat too many cookies" and "don't buy that blouse you don't need."

On another matter of "making yourself do the good things you know you should but are hard for some reason," lately I find myself confronted with a bizarre lack of mental discipline. In the last month, I have been having an increasingly hard time buckling down to focus on my work. I want to do these things, I want to complete my meaningful work, but I have a hell of a time MAKING MYSELF DO IT. It's a point of pride for me that I've never missed a deadline in my life, but I used to not be all that much of a procrastinator and this most recent submission cycle I procrastinated like whoa. This can't go on, it's compromising the quality of what I produce. I must control my laziness and inability to focus in the services of accomplishing the things I want to accomplish. And that's the real advantage of having self-control.
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