That is very different from changing her mind, at least to me. She is very clear above that she has not reached any conclusions, so the only "change" would be reaching one. Any conclusion she reaches is her business and her right. I do not think all people should be parents and I recognize that many people feel a great deal of pressure in one direction or another and would not wish to add to that.
As I said, I suspect that something in the whole process will surprise her. She might realize that something else in her life fulfills what now seems like a drive to parent. She might find that the whole question becomes less important over time, or that the answer suddenly becomes crystal clear. She might become pregnant and have a great and easy pregnancy. She might have terrible post-partum depression and never experience the parenting bond in the way she currently imagines it. She might find that parenting is just less of a big deal than it seems--or that it does absorb her completely and that turns out to be splendid. I could go on all night, but all of it would be entirely speculative. I think that there is no way for her to know until she reaches a decision point and while I support exploring her thoughts and feelings at this moment, I think that whatever course she takes, she will find surprises along the way and I think that being open to uncertainty and surprise is a strength in life, regardless of one's choices.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-27 04:00 am (UTC)As I said, I suspect that something in the whole process will surprise her. She might realize that something else in her life fulfills what now seems like a drive to parent. She might find that the whole question becomes less important over time, or that the answer suddenly becomes crystal clear. She might become pregnant and have a great and easy pregnancy. She might have terrible post-partum depression and never experience the parenting bond in the way she currently imagines it. She might find that parenting is just less of a big deal than it seems--or that it does absorb her completely and that turns out to be splendid. I could go on all night, but all of it would be entirely speculative. I think that there is no way for her to know until she reaches a decision point and while I support exploring her thoughts and feelings at this moment, I think that whatever course she takes, she will find surprises along the way and I think that being open to uncertainty and surprise is a strength in life, regardless of one's choices.