breakinglight11 | The sort of sweet nothings Bernie can expect from me

A text conversation between me and my love:

Me: "You're my love."

Bernie: "Who? Me?"

Me: "Yes! That's why I get at you all the time. Love!"

Bernie: "That's why? Ohhhhhhh."

Bernie: "I thought you were looking for a warm nutrient rich environment to deposit your eggs."

Me: "..."

Me: "Oh, no need to worry your warm and nutrient rich little head about it."

Bernie: "Oh, good."

Me: "All my talk of how I'd prefer you to have to gestate our children is of no consequence."

Bernie: "Roger."

Bernie: "Hey, wait a sec..."

Me: "Don't worry. Just relax and you won't even feel the ovipositor."

Me: "..."

Me: "Good boy. All done!"

Bernie: "Ewwwwwww."

Me: "Nothing to worry about. And if you feel anything squirming around in your insides, you're just imagining it."

Me: "Be sure to have lots of iron in your diet over the coming nine months. No reason."

Bernie: "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

Me: "Yes, it is a very funny joke. Nothing to seek medication intervention over."

Me: "<3"

All Eyes on Me