All Eyes on Me

Well, let's see. You get a 4 in presentation, so they like it/you, but only a 3 in clarity, and since they give both the world and the characters a "cool" what's left is the story, so that's where you're losing a point. They say they think there's a whole book in it, which again suggests they want you to put more into the story, but also that they need someone else to figure out how to market this before they'll take that chance. Combine that with Hollywood's notorious reluctance to fund original ideas (look at how few non-comedies are not based on a true story, a bestseller, a comic book, a remake, a formula) and that's how I come up with my reading of the feedback.