31 Plays in 31 Days, #8 - "Mrs. Nathaniel Hawking"

[breakinglight11]

I am drafting away on Mrs. Hawking part V: Mrs. Frost, trying to make progress. To be honest, I am very much not happy with this first draft so far. I don't feel like I'm really conveying what I want to convey and it's troubling. I am trying not to stress about it, as I very much believe that the first step is just to get some garbage on the page, because you can fix what writing exists, and your only initial drafting goal is to have a technically complete story with a beginning, middle, and end. Still, I can't shake the feeling that last year's piece, Gilded Cages, was stronger at this early stage (that is, about three-quarters of the way drafted) than Mrs. Frost is now.

Bernie tells me I say that every single time— that last year when I was writing Gilded Cages I was complaining about how weak it was even for a version one, that the previous piece Base Instruments had come out much better in the initial draft, and that I basically hate everything I write when it isn't coming out perfectly the first try. He's probably right, although it doesn't help me feel any differently.

Still, it does mean I need to put my money where my mouth is and practice what I preach. I teach all my students that getting some technically finished garbage on the page is the first step to making it good, and just because it's garbage then doesn't mean it can't be fixed up into something great. I need to truly embrace that if I'm going to get the piece I want out of this.

All this is to say I have a lot of scenes of Frost that I'm not happy about. Like this one. It has a cool idea— Clara beginning to execute her part of the plan — but it just comes across with a vagueness that I don't like. It may TECHNICALLY fill the brief of what it needs to function as narratively... but it's missing something.



Ah, well. These are explicitly first drafts. That's what the edit is for. I do like the idea behind the bit at the end, though.

Day #8 - "Mrs. Nathaniel Hawking"
From Mrs. Frost
By Phoebe Roberts

CLARA HAWKING, a society lady, wife of Nathaniel Hawking
ELIZABETH FROST, a society lady, mistress of a criminal empire

London, England, 1886
~~~

(A fancy day party. CLARA moves among the crowd. Enter MRS. FROST. After a moment CLARA approaches her.)

CLARA: Mrs. Frost. Isn’t it?

MRS. FROST: Yes. And who might you be?

CLARA: I’ve heard so much about you, madam. Your standing. Your work in this city. I wanted to meet you in the flesh.

MRS. FROST: How very flattering, Mrs…? What did you say your name was?

CLARA: I didn’t. But it’s Hawking. Mrs. Nathaniel Hawking, as a matter of fact.

MRS. FROST: Indeed. I am acquainted with your husband’s family.

CLARA: Oh, we know you. And because of that, madam, I simply had to tell you in person.

MRS. FROST: I beg your pardon?

CLARA: That we are coming for you.

MRS. FROST: (Laughing) My goodness, madam!

CLARA: There are those that might chide me for saying so. Your reputation indeed proceeds you; you are a formidable woman, with all your powers, and all your engines, cloaked in all the gentility of a true lady. A woman such as that, I had to look her in the eye. And now that I have, I am all the more certain.

MRS. FROST: Certain of what?

CLARA: That we will finish you here.

MRS. FROST: I see. Well, I cannot speak to any of that, but I must ask… if you know my ways, my works, everything I’ve done… what makes you think this occasion will be any different from every other who has tried me?

CLARA: Because this time you have crossed me. And I will see you answer for it.

(Pause.)

MRS. FROST: Well! I must say, I am glad to have made your acquaintance today. This has been exceedingly amusing, but I fear I must be on my way. Good day, madam.

CLARA: Mrs. Hawking.

(Pause.)

CLARA: I am Mrs. Hawking.