Dressing like myself
Mar. 28th, 2019 12:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
breakinglight11Lately I've felt I've had a hard time dressing day to day in a manner that feels like me.
I know the theory of how to dress at this point. Just after I graduated college I made a point of figuring out how to present myself in a slightly more grownup and stylish way, and I have studied costume design enough that I'm familiar with the ways clothing is used as communication. From my day to day, I pretty much always look nice, put together, and with a little bit of taste. I really, really hate when I don't look good, so even in casual situations where I want to be comfortable, I endeavor to be at least a little considered and to avoid anything unflattering.
But lately I've felt a little dissatisfied with how I've been presenting myself. My clothes have felt like they don't really reflect the image I want to put forth. I feel like this often happens to me in winter, that the need to keep warm makes me layer on items that I don't really want to wear.
I've always had certain style preferences. I have always been attention seeking, and want to be seen as hot even in situations where that is probably not appropriate. I'm pretty attached to appearing thin, and conventionally attractive to men. I like showing a little more skin. I prefer classic styles to trends, but not to the exclusion of looking current. I love blacks and other neutrals but do not want to default to them. Those have been consistent even as I've evolved, learned more about dressing, and had different situations to dress for.
Lately, if I'm honest, the image I want to put forward these days is of a woman that men want but are slightly afraid of. When I settled on my current hairstyle— a bright pink quiff with the sides shaved —I found it looked best when I dressed either harder-edged to match it, or in HIGH FEMME styles that strongly contrasted with it. Those, I think, tend to serve my intended effect. Less declarative looks don't work as well with it— T-shirt and jeans, even the collar shirts and sweaters that I've been sticking to as work wear in cold weather.
Today for tutoring at Bunker Hill with rehearsal afterward, I wore gray skinny jeans, black suede Pumas, and a navy ribbed sweater with a tiny diamond earring and necklace set. I look... fine. But not really how I want to look. I like the shoes, jewelry, and pants, actually— I finally transitioned to skinny jeans after years of wearing bootcut even though they were long out of style, because I didn't like anything making my hips look fuller. But it was a good change, I still look very sleek, and now much more modern. But I guess I always feel a little schlumpy in sweaters unless they're SKIN-TIGHT.
I'm trying to think of my ideal wardrobe would look like, without the practical considerations of the day to day. I think I'm leaning these power femme and hard femme looks. Professional, high-fashion-inflected dresses with skirts no longer than the knee. Gothy-punky styles with motorcycle touches-- the structured leather jackets, heavy boots with hardware, pants with the seamed padding at the knee. And there's probably a dash of Victorian/Edwardian in there too— the look is one of the many reasons I'm fascinated with those time periods. I am mildly drawn to menswear references, but more specifically the military-equestrian-tuxedo touches that come from evoking that era. And everything must always be fitted, fitted, fitted, I guess so that boys never forget how lean and hot I am.
Maybe it's time to go through my wardrobe and get rid of everything that doesn't conform to those preferences. I think I keep a lot of it for work, which is hard to translate to my true aesthetic, which is BODYCON and LOOK AT ME all the time. I still wear bare midriffs despite being over thirty because GOD FORBID anybody forget my KILLER ABS. But maybe I'll try just packing away the stuff I feel ehhh about and see if I can manage without it for a while. At least it might make me feel like I'm not settling all the time for looking blah.
I know the theory of how to dress at this point. Just after I graduated college I made a point of figuring out how to present myself in a slightly more grownup and stylish way, and I have studied costume design enough that I'm familiar with the ways clothing is used as communication. From my day to day, I pretty much always look nice, put together, and with a little bit of taste. I really, really hate when I don't look good, so even in casual situations where I want to be comfortable, I endeavor to be at least a little considered and to avoid anything unflattering.
But lately I've felt a little dissatisfied with how I've been presenting myself. My clothes have felt like they don't really reflect the image I want to put forth. I feel like this often happens to me in winter, that the need to keep warm makes me layer on items that I don't really want to wear.
I've always had certain style preferences. I have always been attention seeking, and want to be seen as hot even in situations where that is probably not appropriate. I'm pretty attached to appearing thin, and conventionally attractive to men. I like showing a little more skin. I prefer classic styles to trends, but not to the exclusion of looking current. I love blacks and other neutrals but do not want to default to them. Those have been consistent even as I've evolved, learned more about dressing, and had different situations to dress for.
Lately, if I'm honest, the image I want to put forward these days is of a woman that men want but are slightly afraid of. When I settled on my current hairstyle— a bright pink quiff with the sides shaved —I found it looked best when I dressed either harder-edged to match it, or in HIGH FEMME styles that strongly contrasted with it. Those, I think, tend to serve my intended effect. Less declarative looks don't work as well with it— T-shirt and jeans, even the collar shirts and sweaters that I've been sticking to as work wear in cold weather.
Today for tutoring at Bunker Hill with rehearsal afterward, I wore gray skinny jeans, black suede Pumas, and a navy ribbed sweater with a tiny diamond earring and necklace set. I look... fine. But not really how I want to look. I like the shoes, jewelry, and pants, actually— I finally transitioned to skinny jeans after years of wearing bootcut even though they were long out of style, because I didn't like anything making my hips look fuller. But it was a good change, I still look very sleek, and now much more modern. But I guess I always feel a little schlumpy in sweaters unless they're SKIN-TIGHT.
I'm trying to think of my ideal wardrobe would look like, without the practical considerations of the day to day. I think I'm leaning these power femme and hard femme looks. Professional, high-fashion-inflected dresses with skirts no longer than the knee. Gothy-punky styles with motorcycle touches-- the structured leather jackets, heavy boots with hardware, pants with the seamed padding at the knee. And there's probably a dash of Victorian/Edwardian in there too— the look is one of the many reasons I'm fascinated with those time periods. I am mildly drawn to menswear references, but more specifically the military-equestrian-tuxedo touches that come from evoking that era. And everything must always be fitted, fitted, fitted, I guess so that boys never forget how lean and hot I am.
Maybe it's time to go through my wardrobe and get rid of everything that doesn't conform to those preferences. I think I keep a lot of it for work, which is hard to translate to my true aesthetic, which is BODYCON and LOOK AT ME all the time. I still wear bare midriffs despite being over thirty because GOD FORBID anybody forget my KILLER ABS. But maybe I'll try just packing away the stuff I feel ehhh about and see if I can manage without it for a while. At least it might make me feel like I'm not settling all the time for looking blah.
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