All Eyes on Me

This is the second half of the scene started for Day #9 - Nothing in Common, which would make up the opening scene of a theoretical Bridesmaids comedy pilot. Again, trying to establish the premise, the primary players, and their relationships, all the while making the audience laugh.

All resemblances to persons living or dead are not coincidences, but done entirely with love. 😁



( Day #13 - About Me )

In case you haven't caught my the summaries of my NEW SHOW DEBUTING THIS FALL ON HBFAUX, here are the first seven episodes of BRIDESMAIDS.



You'll notice most of the titles are based on rap songs. I'm going with that.

Episode 1.01 – “Maids 4 Lyfe” we meet the Bridesmaids on the day of the wedding, where wig envy, pink champagne, and the need to lean out the window catcalling groomsmen threatens to tear them apart. Will they be able to overcome their differences long enough to get the bride married and develop a friendship that will last a lifetime?

Episode 1.02 – “Maidin’ Ain’t Easy” - The burgeoning friendship between the ‘Maids is delicate still. Tanya’s insecurities are aggravated when she notices her dress is from a subtly different dye lot than the others girls’. Nancy’s constant wig switching makes the group question if they really know the real her. Hannah feels betrayed when Paulina eats all the cake. Claire’s side eye for their nonsense grows withering.

Episode 1.03, “The Friendship Rainbow” - Friendship is on the line when Tanya and Hannah discover that they were both pursuing the same side plot NPC in the monthly campaign larp. Paulina’s ruthless quest to always be the prettiest girl in the room, dammit, leads her down a dark path of bullying hairdressers and eating protein sludge. Cara puts on her Serious Scrotum-Crushing Heels when a man dares to go head to head with her for partner at the Business Firm. The ‘Maids learn an important lesson about diversity when Nancy points out that a main cast with one black girl and three out of five Italians for some reason is still pretty damn white.

Episode 1.04, “Bring the Girl Noise” - The ‘Maids have to talk Paulina down from a ledge when she is dumped by Julio, her circuit trainer/life coach/fen-phen connection. The girls are shocked when Tanya meets a one-eyed anarcho-communist lesbian with whom to experiment with alternative knitting patterns. A mysterious figure from Nancy’s past shows up and begins leaving decapitated dolls on her doorstep. Hannah sees a cute dog out and about and can’t shut up about it.

Episode 1.05 - “Bust a Maid” - Chaos ensures when Paulina is arrested for biting the neck of movie star Tuck Speedman (played by special guest star Chris Evans). Can the ‘Maids bust her out in time in time for her to stow away inside his suitcase? They girls encourage Tanya to tackle her intimacy issues by seducing the warden, while Nancy’s talent for knife fighting reveals another piece of her dark past.

Episode 1.06 - “Maid Tricks Playing on Me” - Nancy’s stalker escalates, leaving messages in Vaseline on her windows pleading alternatively for her love and for gum she’s chewed. Hannah locks herself in her closet until Mercury is out of retrograde and Cancer enters the fourth house. Claire must decide whether to keep dating her current boyfriend when she learns of his proclivity involving elbows and tapioca pudding. Tanya discovers her sophisticated new brunch friends are actually meeting as a front for their drug cartel.

Episode 1.07 - “Maids Coming Out at Night” - The ‘Maids are horrified to find that their so-called friend Corky Van Dyne (played by guest star John David) has made a porn movie based on their lives. Paulina is outraged that the actress playing her has a bigger bust and Claire has to stop her plot to puncture the woman’s implants. Tanya is terrified that Corky’s movie will reveal how she told him in confidence how she lost her virginity to a gator hunter on a fan boat. Hannah accidentally mixes up the DVD with the home movies she’d burned for her grandmother’s eightieth birthday. Nancy seduces the lead actor to sabotage the production, but breaks the number one rule of the porn world— no falling in love.