31 Plays in 31 Days 2025, #6 - “Sugar”

[breakinglight11]

Another possible bit for Hawking part 9, though overall a fairly inconsequential one. I know I want to make the workings of the new, expanded team not a smooth transition, and show our heroes having to work pretty hard to figure out how things will function from here on out. I think this bit shows some of the new status quo for Mrs. Hawking, where she’s got many more personalities around her and she’s going to have to find some way to get along with them.

The capper is a quote from a silly song Bernie grew up with that I always wanted to incorporate into a Hawking play.


Photo by Kathy Bedard

Day #6 - “Sugar”
From Mrs Hawking part 9
By Phoebe Roberts

London, 1893

VICTORIA HAWKING, lady’s champion of London, early fifties
MARY SWANN, society avenger, early thirties
JOANNA KERRY, her maid and new apprentice, early twenties
~~~


(MRS. HAWKING labors over her work notes in the parlor, casting irritated glances toward the hall door. At last JOANNA enters, slightly harried, with a tea tray.)
 
MRS. HAWKING: There you are! I was expecting you hours ago.
 
JOANNA: Well, begging your pardon, madam! I only had to wait outside a bleedin’ chophouse half the morning on the off-chance I saw a certain gent with a curly black beard you’re dogging come out, then hump my bones halfway across the city because there’s only one tea shop that ain’t out of your precious Twinings Assam! I imagine there ain’t too many maids in London that have all those balls to juggle.
 
MRS. HAWKING: Don’t be absurd; you know the work always takes priority over the house chores.
 
JOANNA: Ah, you say that now, madam. But I’ve heard your giving out like a nanny goat with a toothache just because I’ve made you drink Jackson’s of Piccadilly!
 
MRS. HAWKING: Perhaps if you or Mrs. Kerry could put together a simple cup of tea without making a Greek tragedy of it, I shouldn’t have so much to say about it.
 
JOANNA: Jesus wept! I never met a soul so hellbent on finding some way not to enjoy a cuppa in my life. Money enough for all the best things in life you could want, and don’t even have the sense to enjoy a spot of sugar in your tea. And for your information, your man went in alone at precisely half past eleven, and came out again two and quarter later in the company of two other gentlemen in the uniforms of Coldstream guards.  
 
MRS. HAWKING: There! Was that so very difficult, then?
 
JOANNA: It was for you, madam. Now, if that’s all, I’ll be back at it, then, shall I?
 
         (She bobs a curtsey and stomps out.)
 
MRS. HAWKING: Christ on the cross…
 
MARY: (Laughs)
 
         (MRS. HAWKING turns and sees MARY in the doorway.)
 
MARY: Oh, you never knew how easy you had it.
 
MRS. HAWKING: Well, I’m pleased you’re amused!
 
MARY: God bless that girl.
 
MRS. HAWKING: Did you not hear how she speaks to me? You wouldn’t have dared.
 
MARY: Oh, not in heaven or hell. Which is why I’m so pleased for her.
 
MRS. HAWKING: I must have thoroughly lost my touch. They all used to be too frightened of me.
 
MARY: I say it’s good for you. To have someone with the backbone to stand up to you now and again. Keeps you honest.
 
MRS. HAWKING: Now and again? These days you’ve made it your full-time job. And you’ve taken on plenty of apprentices to learn your trade.
 
MARY: And here I thought you’d be pleased as punch at the courage of young women.
 
         (MARY exits. MRS. HAWKING collapses into her chair, then goes to raise the cup of tea to her lips. JOANNA reenters.)
 
JOANNA: And if you don’t like sugar, don’t stir!
 
         (She storms out again. MRS. HAWKING slams the cup back down in frustration.)