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breakinglight11Bleh, I don’t like this. It’s the scene immediately following yesterday’s #11 - Too Much in Dead Tongues. I know what it’s supposed to accomplish, but the details are sloppy and the execution feels contrived. I prefer a more naturalistic unfolding, but when you have a character alone in an audio drama, it’s tough not to have the character talk to themselves in an unrealistic way. There’s also a lot of cliche imagery, most of which I don’t even know what is supposed to mean. Lame. I can always clean it up later, but still, bleh.
Day #12 - "Rosamunde"
From Dead Tongues
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
HELEN DARE, the new Baroness Strathmore, mid twenties
The WHISPER, just beyond hearing
~~~
SOUND: Footsteps distantly running up stairs
SOUND: Door thrown open
HELEN: (Gasping) Oh, God. Oh, God…
(Pause.)
HELEN: Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee… blessed art thou… blessed art thou… oh, heavens!
SOUND: Jostling of furniture
SOUND: Ceramic clattering
HELEN: Oh, I shall never manage this! Whatever am I doing here?
SOUND: Replacing of ceramic
HELEN: (Deep, steadying breath)
WHISPER: Flevit lepus parvulus, clamans altis vocibus…
HELEN: (Singing quietly) “The little hare wept, crying aloud…’
WHISPER: Quid feci hominibus, quod me sequuntur canibus? HELEN: “What have I done, that men chase me with hounds?” (Small gasp)
(Pause)
HELEN: What is this room? I don’t think I’ve seen it before…
SOUND: Pulling off of sheet
HELEN: Oh! A rocking chair. Look at that fine carving…
SOUND: Another sheet pulling off
HELEN: And… a cradle? Good heavens, a nursery?
SOUND: More sheets
HELEN: (Coughing) When was there a child here? Not for decades, certainly. Has it been shut up all this time?
(Pause.)
HELEN: So many fragile things for a nursery. The vase, the mirror… (Gasp) But what a lovely doll. The lace on her dress… just like on Mother’s wedding gown. And the embroidery— is there something sewn inside the collar? (Reading) “Rosamunde.” What a pretty name…
SOUND: Rippling of wind
SOUND: Rustling of silk
SOUND: Mysterious trill
WHISPER: I was not in the garden…
HELEN: (Singing quietly) “…I was nowhere around.”
(Pause.)
HELEN: (Deep breath) Well. I have work to do.
SOUND: Door opening
SOUND: Footsteps walking away
Day #12 - "Rosamunde"
From Dead Tongues
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
HELEN DARE, the new Baroness Strathmore, mid twenties
The WHISPER, just beyond hearing
~~~
SOUND: Footsteps distantly running up stairs
SOUND: Door thrown open
HELEN: (Gasping) Oh, God. Oh, God…
(Pause.)
HELEN: Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee… blessed art thou… blessed art thou… oh, heavens!
SOUND: Jostling of furniture
SOUND: Ceramic clattering
HELEN: Oh, I shall never manage this! Whatever am I doing here?
SOUND: Replacing of ceramic
HELEN: (Deep, steadying breath)
WHISPER: Flevit lepus parvulus, clamans altis vocibus…
HELEN: (Singing quietly) “The little hare wept, crying aloud…’
WHISPER: Quid feci hominibus, quod me sequuntur canibus? HELEN: “What have I done, that men chase me with hounds?” (Small gasp)
(Pause)
HELEN: What is this room? I don’t think I’ve seen it before…
SOUND: Pulling off of sheet
HELEN: Oh! A rocking chair. Look at that fine carving…
SOUND: Another sheet pulling off
HELEN: And… a cradle? Good heavens, a nursery?
SOUND: More sheets
HELEN: (Coughing) When was there a child here? Not for decades, certainly. Has it been shut up all this time?
(Pause.)
HELEN: So many fragile things for a nursery. The vase, the mirror… (Gasp) But what a lovely doll. The lace on her dress… just like on Mother’s wedding gown. And the embroidery— is there something sewn inside the collar? (Reading) “Rosamunde.” What a pretty name…
SOUND: Rippling of wind
SOUND: Rustling of silk
SOUND: Mysterious trill
WHISPER: I was not in the garden…
HELEN: (Singing quietly) “…I was nowhere around.”
(Pause.)
HELEN: (Deep breath) Well. I have work to do.
SOUND: Door opening
SOUND: Footsteps walking away
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