World's sexiest shoes

[breakinglight11]

I can't believe I forgot to mention this, but the other day I saw quite possibly the sexiest shoes I've ever seen in my life.

 

Gladiator heels-- you know, with all the straps? All in crisscrossing black leather with brass studs. Four-inch chunky heel, just like I love, with just a fraction of a platform. Sound like you've seen them before? What's so special about that, you ask?

Well, see, the crisscrossing straps? Just kept on going.

Yes, darlings, these wrapped those studded black leather straps all the way up the leg, sort of like the ribbons on a ballet shoe, except skinny strips of leather weaving around and around. These were THIGH-HIGH HEELED GLADIATORS. GAH SAVE ME FROM THE SEXY.

I scoured the internet trying to find a picture but could not. The closest I found were these:

And though they are gut-tighteningly sexy, they cannot reach the perfection of the thigh-high version I saw in the mall. They were so fantastic I couldn't even bear to look at the price tag for fear of getting my heart broken.

It's probably just as well. If I owned them, I would never take them off. I would sleep in them, shower in them. I would never wear weather-appropriate clothing ever again because I could not bear to obscure the fabulousness. I would ruin my poor flat feet. But none of that would matter, because I had the world's sexiest shoes.