Ten Day Meme: Day One

[breakinglight11]

What the hell, why not. It's not like I'm doing anything else productive right now.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

1. I don't know if you realize, but I have been working really hard to try and be nice to you and make you feel okay around me. But if you don't start responding in kind to it soon, I'm blowing you off. I'll take you as a friend if you're willing, but if you're not, it's not like I need you.

2. I really appreciate how often you reach out to me. Though part of me can't shake the feeling that you're not actually interested in me as a person, you're just being nice. I'm not sure why I feel that way.

3. I have so much contempt for you right now. The reason why doesn't affect me, at least not anymore, so I guess it's not my place to think anything, but my current opinion of you is really low.

4. I think you're wonderful and I care so much about you, but I worry that inside you're really sick. It doesn't make me think even a little bit less of you; I feel nothing but pity that you have to deal with it. If that is so, I pray that someday it heals.

5. It does him no credit that he only just now realized what you really are. It does you less credit that I knew three years ago. If my judgment could have been taken in place of his, it would have spared me three years of having to endure you.

6. I want so badly to tell you how messed up I think your perceptions are, and how silly you're acting because of them. If I thought you'd believe me, I'd tell you even if it hurt you on the chance it might get you to stop. It's because I really do care about you. But don't think you would believe me, so it's not worth it to cause you the pain.

7. The better I know you, the more I like you. I wish you felt the same about yourself.

8. Please stop trying so hard. It's distasteful and pathetic.

9. I thought you'd basically resigned yourself to never really being happy, but things you've said recently make me wonder if that isn't true after all. God, I hope so.

10. You have irritated me to the point where I'd pretty much prefer to not having to deal with you anymore. Unfortunately, given the politics of certain things, I don't believe that will be possible.

That was interesting. A wee bit attention-whorey and even slightly passive-aggressive, but interesting.

Comments

[morethings5.livejournal.com]

I always find these exercises to be really scary. Incidentally, I try to face the truth without fear, so if any of these are aimed at me, please feel free to tell me. I would love to know what you really think. (Some of them would be true if they were, so... I'm curious.)

[laurion]

I always wonder if there is a practical side to the anonymous aspect. I mean, yes, it obviously helps to shield from hurting someone needlessly, but perhaps does it do more? Does it help to say these things publicly, even if anonymously? Is there an emotional release? Can you manage these feelings better?

[breakinglight11.livejournal.com]

I definitely find there's kind of a cartharsis to it. I'm the kind of person who believes that you don't just get to say whatever you want when it can negatively affect other people, but sometimes it can be frustrating to hold things inside for politeness's sake. Getting to just say it without worrying about the consequences is kind of a relief.

[laurion]

That answers my question. *grin* I agree that we don't get to say whatever we want. Even if it is how we feel, sometimes it isn't worth the damage to say it out loud. I'd suggest not holding such things inside and letting them go as best you can, but my own experience says that's not as easily done as said.

Thanks for answering!

[darkoni]

Yeah, it's not always easy to let things out, so if someone can find a release that way, it seems good to go for it.

[arthoniel.livejournal.com]

Oh man, these memes always scare the hell out of me because, even if I know it's not, there's always a small part of me that's still kinda insecure that goes all "OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. THAT ONE TOWARDS THE PERSON S/HE DOESN'T LIKE. THAT'S ABOUT ME, ISN'T IT. OH CRAP, THAT'S ABOUT ME. OH SLDFKJDSLKJFSD I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE THAT WAY CAN I EVER BE FORGIVEN I NEVER SHOULD'VE EATEN THAT BANANA."

...Whoa. That was a lot of caps lock. But yeah. There's always that small part of me that goes like that, and it's weird. XD

[breakinglight11.livejournal.com]

I think we all do that. Don't worry, Emma-- I like you very much. I'm the sort of person for whom you'd know if I didn't. ;-)

[arthoniel.livejournal.com]

slkjflksd Aww, thank you. It means a lot to hear (well, see) you say that~ And I like you a lot too, babe. <3

[aurora-knight.livejournal.com]

It's a bit self-centered to think that any of these are necessarily about me, but I can see three that at least apply to me. Happily, I don't feel like they're any of the "I can't stand you!" ones.

[rigel.livejournal.com]

It's neat to see you doing this.

[crearespero.livejournal.com]

I wonder if anyone can read this without playing the 'ooo i wonder which one(s) could apply to me?'game ;) --- part of the fun, really. Even though I haven't been around you for rather a while (only found one that is remotely likely, given that). I miss you!