Ten Day Meme: Day Ten

[breakinglight11]

Day ten: one confession

1. Sometimes I hate myself for not being perfect. I hate my acne and my cellulite, I hate my temper and my judgmental tendencies, I hate my average intelligence and my weaknesses of character, fortitude, and ability. I hate myself for everything I can't do well or can't be well. Sometimes I can't understand why people can stand me at all when it's so glaringly obvious how imperfect I am.

Comments

[natbudin.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I can't understand why people can stand me at all when it's so glaringly obvious how imperfect I am.

Because people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

[laurion]

Bingo. We gladly tolerate others imperfections for the simple fact that they do us the same kindness.

[laurion]

Also, the good outweighs the bad, so don't let perfection be the enemy of living.

[morethings5.livejournal.com]

Who in the goddamn hell says you have "average" intelligence? My goodness Phoebe... maybe I am too often blinded by your physical beauty to compliment your brains. I think you're one of the smartest and most intellectually accomplished people I know.

All that aside though - I love you despite your imperfections just as much as I love you because of your perfections.

[arthoniel.livejournal.com]

Ah, this. I wish I could give you some kind of encouraging words or awesome turn of phrase that would make you instantly forget all of that and just think about how generally awesome you are, but... I got nothing. I deal with the exact same stuff, every day.

The fact that I rely on a prescription-strength acne medication to have even moderately clear skin. I'm skinny, but my stomach sticks out... and my upper thighs aren't quite as in shape as they could be either. And oh god, my arms. The only reason that they are at all skinny is because I have no muscle at all. Honestly, I find it hard to see how anyone could be attracted to me if/after they look at my arms. I'm horrendously weak, physically. I'm stubborn psychologically and emotionally, and always mistake that for trying to be strong. Every time. I'm awkward in conversation, and am honestly not that good at it. I'm not really that funny or interesting. I think a lot more slowly than other people seem to... and I'm not really as intelligent as people seem to think I am. I get good academic grades... but I'm not that smart in any other area of life. I don't know how to do anything practical- I don't even really know how to cook. (I could follow a recipe if I absolutely had to... but it still wouldn't be amazing.) I'm a total snob about being from New York. And yet, despite all of that, romantically, my standards are far too high.

...Well. You get the point. So I guess the best I can do is... you're not alone in feeling that way about yourself. You're certainly not the only one who wonders how anyone can overlook their imperfections. But, if it makes you feel any better, I still really like you- I just enjoy your company. And most of us seem to be so focused on our own imperfections that we don't have time to notice anyone else's... so that's a thing too.

I don't really know. I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. But... it is what it is, you know?