Birds of a feather

[breakinglight11]

I have never understood how people make relationships work when they don't have stuff in common. I don't mean you need to be the same sort of people. I haven't had many relationships, but of the few that I've had they've been based on sharing interests and doings. Jared and I are very, very different kinds of people, but we care about many of the same things, have lots of the same interests, and take part in the same activities. We met in a larp, to begin with, and we both are into many of the same things like gaming and theater. We talk endlessly about this stuff, and it makes me wonder what people who don't do and care about the same things talk about. I know you need differences to keep things dynamic, but how do you spend time together when you don't have activities you like to share?

Of course, I do believe that different personalities in a relationship make things work better. Two people in love should complement each other, each strong in ways the other might possibly not be. Jared is sensitive where I am tough, he is smart while I am sensible. We make each other better that way. But it means a lot to me that we have so much in common that we never run out of things to talk about.

Comments

[in-water-writ.livejournal.com]

I agree. My favorite relationships have been the ones where I realize I have more in common with the other person than I had with any other person before.

Which is why I like my relationship with John most of all :)

For me, one of the very first moments when I knew there was something special was the very first night we met, when we were cuddling and talking about our favorite tabletop systems and the advantages of each, and stopped and looked at each other and thought, "Who does that? Cuddles and has this conversation?"

[laurion]

More people than you might think. ;)

[katiescarlett29.livejournal.com]

I think we've talked about this before, but in my experience, when you aren't lucky enough to have so many things in common, it can be really lovely to have your partner introduce you to new things you never would have thought you'd appreciate before. I never would have thought to go to the Boston Symphony Orchestra if Walter hadn't brought me, for example. And he never would have tried acting if it wasn't for me. It can be very interesting, as a broadening experience, to have a partner interested in 180-degrees opposite things from your interests. Problem is, it's not necessarily self-sustaining the way having so much in common can be.

The two of you are unusually blessed in each other. I've always thought so. <3

[laurion]

It's funny to see the range as well. Some couples we know are near clones of each other, both interested in and doing almost completely the same things. To me, that would be equally difficult, because then you have no differences to talk about. "Did I ever tell you about..." "Yes, I was there" type situations. I think compatible personalities is more important than compatible hobbies, but I agree that you need to share some passions, or you're unlikely to have met, to spend s=enoguh time together, or appreciatet he other persons interestes enough for things to work out in the long run.