Birthday brain surgery

[breakinglight11]

Just got back to Boston after a few days at home to see my family. Casey and I are trying to get home at least once a month, if not more, to see Mom. She's out of the hospital now after a month-long stay, and while she's definitely doing better than she was while she was in, able to walk and not depend on an oxygen tank, things still aren't good. She is as weak as I've ever seen her, though at least she's walking and has a little bit of breath.

Yesterday, on what happened to be her sixtieth birthday, she went in for brain surgery, the kind where they bolt your head to a table so they can very precisely aim a laser to zap your lesions. She's even going to be going back into chemo soon. It's tough on her, but I'm proud of how bravely she's handling it. Unfortunately it's all pretty much a stopgap. She's just trying to get as much time with us as she can, but nobody has much hope of her lasting the year. It is depressing, and it can be tough to stay positive now given how dim the prognosis is. But it's been three months since the brain tumors were discovered, so she's already exceeded the most extreme estimate. I need to appreciate the time I have with her-- she's fighting so hard so that I can have it --rather than getting bogged down in an uncertain future.

Comments

[acousticshadow2.livejournal.com]

Hold in there. I know life has been kicking your down lately and this is a horrible thing to go through, but you have a lot of strength in you. You haven't crumpled under the strain yet where many people would, which means you DO have a secret hidden reserve of strength deep inside you that you can draw upon in the most desperate times.

Every time things get to that point of utter despair, remember that secret reserve and that even if you feel like your world is falling apart that you are quietly subconsciously drawing from it and you WILL get through.

I've been through dark times before and sometimes it feels like it is only continually getting darker, but remember the dark times cannot last forever. Every day remind yourself that you DO have enough strength to get through it and life WILL get better.