Struggling with thesis writing

[breakinglight11]

Struggling a lot with my thesis writing. I took many of your suggestion and told my adviser about some of the mess in my life (specifically the stress of my mother's illness), who was understanding in the extreme, and has practically let me out of all obligation to do any decent work. But I couldn't live with myself if I punked on this. Still, I'm having a hard time. My confidence has really been shaken. I knew the new stuff I'd handed in wasn't great, but my teacher didn't seem to think much of my Tailor of Riddling Way screenplay either, calling it "a Hallmark movie." That really cut me, and I'm still reeling. I knew it wasn't perfect, but I thought it was pretty good. One thing I've really been worrying about is my seeming inability to gauge my own work, as my teachers' opinions rarely seem to match up with mine. What am I going to do in the future when I don't have someone to tell me when something is no good?

But I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out what to do. I have no idea how to rescue the work I've already done. She's offered to let me start something new, but I don't know what that could even be, and I'm terrified it's going to be just as bad. Especially since I can't seem to tell good from bad! And just throwing something onto the page backfired in the last couple of submissions. I just can't hand in something that lame again. But I'm getting paralyzed, and I'm running out of time.

Comments

[acousticshadow2.livejournal.com]

Just a suggestion...

Why not write about something you feel... Don't try to write about grand themes or just throwing things on paper. Why not write about the things that are bothering you right now? Why not write about the pain of having to deal with a loved one who is dying? It might be too painful for you, but often the best work artist and authors can do is born out of their pain. Maybe it won't be any good, but it will be authentic. Stop trying to impress your teachers or your audience. Stop caring what people think of your work and instead focus on transferring all of your struggles and pain and emotions with being a grad student and the pain of your mother's sickness into what you are feeling right now. Maybe you can't focus on your work because you are focusing on what is important... the issues in your life. So make your work about the issues in your life. No pretensions... just honest emotions.

[laurion]

"What am I going to do in the future when I don't have someone to tell me when something is no good?"

Oh, there are no shortage of critics, directors, and audiences to fill *that* role. Just remember not to listen to them.

One of the better quotes I saw recently was "Keep giving them you until you is what they want." (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hollywood-the-couch/201201/how-survive-rejection) There's no accounting for taste and no predicting what will succeed or not. Just keeping putting you (and your stuff) out there, and see what sticks.

[matt cederholm (from livejournal.com)]

Start with a scene. Something you've written, perhaps. Just one scene. Make it great. Then think about where things might go from there. Or what happened that led to that scene. It's cliche and a bit trite, but everything is written one word at a time. Start small; it's easier to manage.

I don't know your process, but I don't obsess as I write. Sometimes it sucks, but that's what Word is for.

And your teacher may be wrong... get some other opinions before scrapping Tailor. There are people other than college professors who read scripts and can render an opinion.

As frustrating as it is, keep trying. Remember about Edison and his lightbulbs.