Afraid to go home

[breakinglight11]

*Sigh* Have to get up early to go home tomorrow. Not looking forward to it, honestly. The six hour drive is not fun, but I'm worried about what I'll find when I get there.

My mom isn't doing great. It's never quite so clear over the phone, as she doesn't like me to know when that's the case. But when I'm at home I'll see it firsthand. It's hard. I love her, and I love being with her-- God knows how little time I've got left with her --but it's hard to see her when she's struggling so much. And it's not like I'm much help. There's nothing I can do, which makes it worse.

I can be there, though. She wants to see me. I want to spend time with her while I can. So I'm going. Maybe we can just enjoy each other's company and not only dwell on the progress of her disease.