31 Plays in 31 Days, #10 - "Pinching"

[breakinglight11]

This is another installment of my "Bombshells" idea, the first of which can be read here. It's inspired by Marvel's Agent Carter, meant to combine everything adorable and funny about ladies in the 1940s with WWII badassery. My favorite scene in Agent Carter was the discussion of their preferred ways to smuggle food home in their purses, so I used that to think up this rough, but I hope cute, scene.




Day #10 - “Pinching”
by Phoebe Roberts

GERTIE, a WWII-era special member of the WAC
JULIE, another special member

Europe, 1944
~~~

(GERTIE and JULIE sit in a cantina. GERTIE cranes her neck to see offstage.)

JULIE: Is the waitress looking?

GERTIE: She’s still turned this way.

JULIE: Damn. Tell me when she’s gone.

GERTIE: I don’t think it’s worth it just to pinch pierogis, Jules.

JULIE: Like hell it isn’t. And I paid for these pierogis, I’m damn well going to take them.

GERTIE: They’re not even very good. You could make better than this in your sleep.

JULIE: I can sew better than Uncle Sam too. Doesn’t mean I got time to make my own uniforms.

GERTIE: You know Dorothy knitted a little pocket for her purse to help her carry home dinner rolls?

JULIE: Smart girl.

GERTIE: Seems like a lot of pain in the neck when you could get three squares from camp if you want.

JULIE: If I eat that slop forever, it’ll get me faster than the Gerries will. What would you know, your family’s all Brits. Can’t cook worth a damn.

GERTIE: Scotch-Irish-English. And that’s not true! Like to see you Russkies do a goose on Christmas.

JULIE: Besides, you’re one to talk, after what I saw you snagging the other day.

GERTIE: Oh, that’s different!

JULIE: Sure is. You were outright stealing.

GERTIE: That range isn’t going to miss it!

JULIE: The range might not, but Hayward sure got it read to him. They thought he lost it.

GERTIE: Can’t blame me if he can’t properly keep stock of dangerous equipment. And those little peashooters they give the likes of us couldn’t stop a lost cow.

JULIE: Tell you what. You get out your purse and stuff it full of as many pierogis as it’ll hold, and I won’t tell Sister you pinched that M1911 off Lieutenant Hayward to switch out in your mission kit.

(Pause.)

GERTIE: Deal.

(They turn their heads to look for the waitress. Seeing nothing, they frantically cram their bags full of dumplings.)