Two years so far

[breakinglight11]

It's just now past two years since Bernie moved home to DC to finish his PhD. He's since graduated, and is now onto job searching, so with any luck he's on his way to coming back to the area. But job searching tends to be a slow, miserable process, so I don't know how long that's going to take, and I miss Bernie pretty badly.

I guess it's not that big a deal. We still feel very close, and I actually enjoy long periods on my own. I'm prepared to deal with this as long as I need to. After all, there's a chance Bernie might get a job somewhere other than Boston, and right now I don't really have the ability or the desire to move away from my life and friends. But there's a lot of practical stuff that's impacted by his absence and that's the only part that really gets to me.

We're at the point in our relationship where we'd like to live together, which would be nice for all kinds of squishy reasons. But honestly I find myself mostly pining for the concrete advantages. I'm tired of living with roommates, but I can't afford to live alone, so living with a serious partner would help. Being able to find a place together would make the purchasing power go farther. I joke that a live-in boyfriend would be a roommate I'd be able to boss around, but it would be nice to have somebody I was comfortable asking things of in negotiating house rules and chore schedules, stuff like that. I feel better doing chores for the comfort of someone I can about rather than a stranger, and their care for me would make them more willing to contribute effort to my comfort.

And just little stuff. Helping carrying bags to and from the car. Somebody to run an errand you don't have time for. Making dinner for two people instead of just for one. Bernie was always so much help to me in everyday things, and I miss having that support. It's the only thing he really can't be from far away, and that's the part I have the toughest time over.

I know job hunting SUCKS, but I'm really hoping he works it out soon. Since I've made a little progress in my professional life, I've been making a little more money each semester. It makes me start to think of making progress in other aspects of my life. Making a home with Bernie is the next step I find myself hoping for. But that can't happen until several things get sorted out, so I guess I just have to be patient a while longer.

Comments

[laura47.livejournal.com]

Those things are super important! Peter and i didn't move in together until we'd been together for 6 years, so I'm well familar with both sides of that one. :-/

[laurion]

Heard. Understood. Sympathies, and support for continued resilience.

[breakinglight11.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ❤️

[audioboy.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[breakinglight11.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you.