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breakinglight11More messing around with Adonis ideas. This builds off of a scene written for a previous 31P31D, #26 - A Small Thing. It’s exploring an idea I’m not sure I’m committed to, since Bernie felt like it might be too coincidental to have one of the big bads be a specific abuser from Aidan’s past. I’m undecided about that, since I’m not sure the punch the personal angle might impart doesn’t outweigh my strong dislike for relying on coincidence. But I don’t want to imply that vanquishing her solves all his problems, either, so… there’s a lot to consider. And it’s not a priority right now to tease that out, given the time it would take from other projects.
But I do find drafting sometimes helps me figure stuff out, see if I like how it works— much as I hate wasting work. But it’s not really a waste if it’s practice. In this project I want to push myself outside of my… timidity, I guess, of ever writing about anything too distasteful or raw. I think I rob some of my ideas of their power because I get awkward or squeamish and make things too anodyne. Here’s an attempt to get a bit more raw. Just barely, anyway. It’s tricky to nail down the right language, that sounds neither too modern nor too stiff.
Day #26 - “Like a Wineskin at a Wake”
From the Adonis sequels
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
INT - CELLS - DAY
Pavilla slumps in her cell. She stands when she hears footsteps approach. She peers out to see Morna leading in Aidan.
PAVILLA: Is this it? Is this him?
She looks at him, then blanches in shock.
PAVILLA: By the gods. You.
Morna’s eyes dart between her and Aidan, who has stopped short.
MORNA: What?
PAVILLA: The boy from the building corps! On campaign in Germany!
MORNA: She knows you?
PAVILLA: Know him? I’ve had him.
Morna gapes at Aidan, who has not taken his eyes off Pavilla.
PAVILLA: Give us a moment, girl.
INT - CELLS - DAY
Aidan stands alone outside Pavilla's cell.
PAVILLA: I remember you. I remember you. The Rhineland. The smooth-skinned boy with the hero’s face and hair like the midday sun.
Beat.
PAVILLA: Everyone in the camp knew you. You came recommended. They must have passed you around like a wineskin at a wake. Do you remember me?
AIDAN: No.
PAVILLA: Liar. Beautiful as you are, there couldn’t have been many like me.
AIDAN: They were all like you.
PAVILLA: If you want me to talk, know I won’t do it for nothing.
AIDAN: You were on progress through your mother’s campaign. You arrived before they razed the wheat fields on the southern border, and you rode a red palfrey.
PAVILLA: (Laughing) Do you hear me? I asked you, boy— do you remember me?
Beat.
AIDAN: You wanted me dragged to the edge. You'd coax me close, then beat me back, over and over again. Until I could have sobbed with it.
Pavilla grins.
PAVILLA: To think, I've had the face that changed the world between my legs. I don’t know how I ever took my eye off you. I should have clapped a collar on you and chained you up in my tent.
AIDAN: You are the prisoner, Pavo Minor. If you have no information, you’ve no power to keep me here.
He turns to go.
PAVILLA: Not so fast! Ask your questions, Adonis. I’ll tell you everything I know.
He stops.
PAVILLA: Now. What do you want from me?
But I do find drafting sometimes helps me figure stuff out, see if I like how it works— much as I hate wasting work. But it’s not really a waste if it’s practice. In this project I want to push myself outside of my… timidity, I guess, of ever writing about anything too distasteful or raw. I think I rob some of my ideas of their power because I get awkward or squeamish and make things too anodyne. Here’s an attempt to get a bit more raw. Just barely, anyway. It’s tricky to nail down the right language, that sounds neither too modern nor too stiff.
Day #26 - “Like a Wineskin at a Wake”
From the Adonis sequels
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
INT - CELLS - DAY
Pavilla slumps in her cell. She stands when she hears footsteps approach. She peers out to see Morna leading in Aidan.
PAVILLA: Is this it? Is this him?
She looks at him, then blanches in shock.
PAVILLA: By the gods. You.
Morna’s eyes dart between her and Aidan, who has stopped short.
MORNA: What?
PAVILLA: The boy from the building corps! On campaign in Germany!
MORNA: She knows you?
PAVILLA: Know him? I’ve had him.
Morna gapes at Aidan, who has not taken his eyes off Pavilla.
PAVILLA: Give us a moment, girl.
INT - CELLS - DAY
Aidan stands alone outside Pavilla's cell.
PAVILLA: I remember you. I remember you. The Rhineland. The smooth-skinned boy with the hero’s face and hair like the midday sun.
Beat.
PAVILLA: Everyone in the camp knew you. You came recommended. They must have passed you around like a wineskin at a wake. Do you remember me?
AIDAN: No.
PAVILLA: Liar. Beautiful as you are, there couldn’t have been many like me.
AIDAN: They were all like you.
PAVILLA: If you want me to talk, know I won’t do it for nothing.
AIDAN: You were on progress through your mother’s campaign. You arrived before they razed the wheat fields on the southern border, and you rode a red palfrey.
PAVILLA: (Laughing) Do you hear me? I asked you, boy— do you remember me?
Beat.
AIDAN: You wanted me dragged to the edge. You'd coax me close, then beat me back, over and over again. Until I could have sobbed with it.
Pavilla grins.
PAVILLA: To think, I've had the face that changed the world between my legs. I don’t know how I ever took my eye off you. I should have clapped a collar on you and chained you up in my tent.
AIDAN: You are the prisoner, Pavo Minor. If you have no information, you’ve no power to keep me here.
He turns to go.
PAVILLA: Not so fast! Ask your questions, Adonis. I’ll tell you everything I know.
He stops.
PAVILLA: Now. What do you want from me?
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