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Apparently I’m fleshing out this idea.

I mentioned that I thought it could make a cool timeskipped King of the Hill story to include the common fan interpretation that Hank is on the autism spectrum. I liked the idea that the now-grown Bobby is a social worker, and when Hank’s much younger half-brother G.H. gets diagnosed, it causes Bobby to notice it fits with Hank and broach the possibility with him.

The substance of this scene is lacking. I read it through and it feels clumsy and imprecise. Not to mention not all that funny, in that particular dry, lowkey way. But I think the structure is here.


Bobby when G.H. was born


13. Diagnosis
From King of the Hill
By Phoebe Roberts

Arlen, Texas, 2012

HANK HILL, assistant manager of Strickland Propane, mid fifties
BOBBY HILL, his son, comedian and social worker, late twenties
DIDI DADDARIO, formerly Hank’s stepmother, mid fifties
GOOD HANK “G.H.” HILL, Hank’s half-brother and Didi’s son, mid teens
~~~

(Bobby hangs out with Hank in the backyard on Rainey Street as Hank tends to a cluster of ribeye on his grill.)

HANK: Look at that. Bet you ain’t had nothing like that since you last been home!

BOBBY: Folks do grill in Austin, Dad.

HANK: Yeah, what do they grill there? Portobello mushrooms, other kinds of fungus? Sticks and leaves, for all I know. I’m going to get a few gold old grass-fed Texas steaks into you while you’re in town.

BOBBY: Well, I ain’t gonna fight you on that.

(Bobby’s phone rings, and he takes a few steps off to answer it.)

DIDI: (over phone) Hello, Bobby. It’s Didi. I used your be your step grandma, but I’m not anymore.

BOBBY: It’s okay, Didi, I remember you. How have y’all been?

DIDI: Oh, Mariano and I just got back from San Antonio for Fiestawrestle. He was the guest of honor for the El Slamarama Grand Championship.

BOBBY: That sounds fun, I bet G.H. enjoyed that.

DIDI: G.H. is not enjoying things right now. That’s why I called.

BOBBY: Oh. Is he okay?

DIDI: No. That’s what I said. He would be enjoying being okay, I think.

G.H.: (off) Mom!

DIDI: Here. I’ll let him be not okay at you.

(G.H. comes onto the phone.)

G.H.: Hey, Bobby.

BOBBY: Hey, buddy. What’s going on? Usually you love the Lucha-showdown.

G.H.: Yeah, well. Something happened at school. You remember how that teacher was getting on my case for never making eye contact?

BOBBY: Yeah, I thought you got out of her class when her affair with the janitor came out.

G.H.: I did, but then… they started making me go see this other lady. At first I didn’t care because she gave me Almond Joys and I got out of trig. But she started asking me all these questions, and making a big deal out of stuff I never thought about before.

BOBBY: Yeah? Like what?

(Bobby glances back over to Hank, where he is talking to himself.)

G.H.: Like, if I have a hard time understanding what other people are thinking or feeling…

HANK: Huh. Austin. Why would anybody ever want to live in Austin?

BOBBY: Uh-huh…

G.H.: Or if anyone ever thinks I’m rude when I think I’m just being honest…

HANK: I’m sure it’s hard to think straight when everybody’s got protein deficiencies.

G.H.: Or if I ever got so wrapped up in the little details of something I’m interested in.

HANK: Hey, Bobby! We’ve achieved Maillard! Get over here and see the wonder that propane can do!

BOBBY: Just a minute, Dad. And… did you say yes to that stuff?

G.H.: They think it means I got something. A… diagnosis, you know?

BOBBY: I think so. Was it something called autism, G.H.?

G.H.: You know about it?

(Bobby glances back to Hank, hovering attentively over his grill.)

BOBBY: Yeah. I know a bit.

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