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breakinglight11Forever Captain:
“The Hemingway Trip”
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
Summary: “In the twenty years since Steve Rogers returned to the midcentury to build a life and family, he’s always been surprised at how close he became with Howard Stark. But it’s that very closeness that makes him the only person Howard can talk to when he’s wrestling with something big.
Nothing like a fishing trip to give the boys a chance to talk.”
Previous chapters:
1. Birds of Odd Feathers
2. In the Drink
3. Rough Time
4. Before This Day Ends
5. Nobody's Hero
6. Promises to Keep
Chapter summary: Howard deals with the consequences of his actions, but Steve makes it so he doesn't have to do it alone.
“The Hemingway Trip”
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
Summary: “In the twenty years since Steve Rogers returned to the midcentury to build a life and family, he’s always been surprised at how close he became with Howard Stark. But it’s that very closeness that makes him the only person Howard can talk to when he’s wrestling with something big.
Nothing like a fishing trip to give the boys a chance to talk.”
Previous chapters:
1. Birds of Odd Feathers
2. In the Drink
3. Rough Time
4. Before This Day Ends
5. Nobody's Hero
6. Promises to Keep
Chapter summary: Howard deals with the consequences of his actions, but Steve makes it so he doesn't have to do it alone.
~~~
7. Coming Clean
After screwing up his courage, Howard did make good on coming clean to Maria. It took a little bit of time, and Steve didn't see or hear from him for several weeks. Then one evening the doorbell rang, unusually late for a visitor. Steve answered the door to a duffle bag socking into him. He caught it on reflex and looked past it to see Howard, glaring at him with reddened eyes.
"Well, she threw me out. You got what you wanted."
Steve sighed. "Aw, Howard."
He pushed past Steve into the house. "Now you get me on your couch. Hope you're happy, pal."
Peggy was nonplussed by Howard's sudden appearance, but now wasn't the time to explain it to her. Steve hadn't told her about everything yet; Howard had asked him not to, and Steve supposed it was best if she didn't nail him to the wall before he had a chance to do the right thing. Still, with a quick whispered request, she was willing to gather up the kids and take them out for ice cream, so that Howard could break down in peace.
And break down he did. In fits and starts, Howard gave Steve the whole story. Maria had thrown him out, after a fashion, at least as much as a man could be when he owned as many properties as Stark did. She'd taken off for the weekend to their beach house in Martha's Vineyard to get time and space away from him, to give herself the chance to think. And she'd made it clear that she did not want to see him at the house when she got back.
"So there it is," Howard groaned. "She's done with me."
"Is that what she said?" Steve asked, as gently as he could.
"Not in so many words," Howard admitted. "She… said she needed to think. But you and I both know it's only a matter of time."
Steve let the man go on, mostly in silence. He raged and stormed and cried, at the world, at women in general, at Maria in specific, even at Steve himself. It got rough, even ugly at times, to the point that for all their sakes, Steve was glad to have gotten the kids out of the house. But for once there was no judgment to beat back, only a wave of deep pity. Howard would have to burn himself out if he was going to get to the other side of things. And if there was one thing Steve knew he was good at, it was bearing up when others could not.
So Steve waited, until finally Howard collapsed in a heap on the couch, all the fire and rage run through him and only the raw hurt remained. "God damn, Steve," he gasped, face pressed into his palm. "What am I gonna do?"
Steve moved in close, kneeling in front of Howard and placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're going to wait it out. And I'm going to be there with you."
At the moment, though, getting through it all was a bit much for Howard to fathom. For his first few days at the Carters, he flopped around in a miserable heap, wallowing in a pool of self-pity and Jack. So Steve set their sights a little shorter, aiming just to get him through the next seventy-two hours without any impulsive phone calls or drinking himself to death. He told the kids to go easy on bugging Uncle Howard, since he was going through a bad time right now, but the man himself remained largely too out of it to pay them much mind. Steve supposed it was for the best, but it was a disconcerting way to see the normally busy, dynamic Howard Stark.
For Peggy's part, she too was endeavoring to tamp down on her natural judgmental tendencies, but given the circumstances her patience extended only so far. She wasn't about to put up with a sad sack adulterer moping uselessly around her house for several weeks. "This isn't a hotel for wayward husbands," she declared. "He'll never get himself together if he lies about like a lump." So, rather than let him stew, Peggy put him to work, at every opportunity— chopping onions, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage on trash night.
Howard bridled and resisted at first. He wasn't used to doing much in the way of everyday chores at the best of times, much less in his current state. "What is this, KP duty?"
"Come on, pal," Steve urged. "You could use the distraction."
Howard groaned and went prone again. "What's it matter what I do? Might as well go out and pick up a Mad Dog and a hooker."
"Nope," Steve said. "Because Maria asked you for some time. And while she takes it, you're going to show her you can do better than you have been."
"And I got to play houseboy to do that?"
"Nah, that's for my wife, not yours. You think Peggy's going to put up with you on your ass all day? You want to try her on that?"
Howard had had fifteen years and two wars to learn better, so he found it in him to lever himself up. Despite his complaining, Steve couldn't help but think it was good for him to have a normal person's routine for a while. He even helped Elizabeth with her science homework, explaining how circuits worked to the wide-eyed eleven-year-old with the help of a potato and some chicken wire.
After a couple of weeks, Howard became aware enough of his surroundings to not overstay his welcome— and to be a little overwhelmed by the constant minor chaos of the kids.
"Is this your life? You do this every single day?" he asked, eyes bugging out at the way Elizabeth and Jamie could go from playing to fighting to laughing to screaming to napping over the course of an afternoon. "Guess you never got tired of the war zone."
But at any rate, he had dug himself out of the pit somewhat, and he would be spending the remainder of his exile in a hotel. "One where I'm not expected to be on staff. But… I think I can be trusted on my own again."
"Glad to hear it." Steve pressed his hand. "You're going to wait it out, then?"
"Yeah." Howard chuckled quietly. "I made it this far. Don't want to have done my time for nothing." He swallowed. "You think she'll take me back? You think I still got a shot?"
"I hope so." For more than just their sakes. "But, whatever happens… I'll be here."
Howard's lip quirked. "Yeah, with yard work that needs doing." He paused, then looked up to meet Steve's eyes. "Thanks for that. For everything."
It took a little more time for Maria to come to a decision about things. But Howard made good on his word and let her have as long as she needed. He took business trips out of town so that nothing drew the attention of gossips or the press, leaving Jarvis with her under strict orders to see that she was taken care of, doing his best to behave himself to prove that he was worth her learning to trust again. And Steve kept his word too; when Howard needed a shoulder, a listening ear, or a kick in the pants, he was there to see his friend through. Until after several months of patience and good behavior, Maria was willing to permit him to come back home. It was enough that in time, even Jarvis was able to forgive him.
They'd managed to rebuild in a way that was real in the near-decade since then. A marriage took time to fully repair, of course. But Maria loved him, for all his flaws, and though he'd never be a Boy Scout, the experience had put the fear of God into him; he even made an effort to get his drinking under control. And while Steve still was no close confidant of Maria's, he knew her well enough to know she wouldn't stand for a man who didn't meet her standards. Steve was proud of him, and quietly, deeply relieved.
They'd always been friends, since Steve returned in 1947 and had trusted Howard to be one of the few people to know. But this cemented Howard's trust in him, this being there in one of the lowest moments in his life, and helping him find his way through it. They were important to one another, enough to overcome the many differences between them. Such that when one of them called, the other one was going to answer.
That time in 1961 wasn't the last time they'd gone fishing— though in all those years, it had never been Howard to suggest it. If this time it was his idea, he had to have something big to talk about. Of course, given the timing, Steve had more clues than that to make a guess.
He was going to have to gather up his gear.
~~~
Next chapter: 8. Old Men
7. Coming Clean
After screwing up his courage, Howard did make good on coming clean to Maria. It took a little bit of time, and Steve didn't see or hear from him for several weeks. Then one evening the doorbell rang, unusually late for a visitor. Steve answered the door to a duffle bag socking into him. He caught it on reflex and looked past it to see Howard, glaring at him with reddened eyes.
"Well, she threw me out. You got what you wanted."
Steve sighed. "Aw, Howard."
He pushed past Steve into the house. "Now you get me on your couch. Hope you're happy, pal."
Peggy was nonplussed by Howard's sudden appearance, but now wasn't the time to explain it to her. Steve hadn't told her about everything yet; Howard had asked him not to, and Steve supposed it was best if she didn't nail him to the wall before he had a chance to do the right thing. Still, with a quick whispered request, she was willing to gather up the kids and take them out for ice cream, so that Howard could break down in peace.
And break down he did. In fits and starts, Howard gave Steve the whole story. Maria had thrown him out, after a fashion, at least as much as a man could be when he owned as many properties as Stark did. She'd taken off for the weekend to their beach house in Martha's Vineyard to get time and space away from him, to give herself the chance to think. And she'd made it clear that she did not want to see him at the house when she got back.
"So there it is," Howard groaned. "She's done with me."
"Is that what she said?" Steve asked, as gently as he could.
"Not in so many words," Howard admitted. "She… said she needed to think. But you and I both know it's only a matter of time."
Steve let the man go on, mostly in silence. He raged and stormed and cried, at the world, at women in general, at Maria in specific, even at Steve himself. It got rough, even ugly at times, to the point that for all their sakes, Steve was glad to have gotten the kids out of the house. But for once there was no judgment to beat back, only a wave of deep pity. Howard would have to burn himself out if he was going to get to the other side of things. And if there was one thing Steve knew he was good at, it was bearing up when others could not.
So Steve waited, until finally Howard collapsed in a heap on the couch, all the fire and rage run through him and only the raw hurt remained. "God damn, Steve," he gasped, face pressed into his palm. "What am I gonna do?"
Steve moved in close, kneeling in front of Howard and placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're going to wait it out. And I'm going to be there with you."
At the moment, though, getting through it all was a bit much for Howard to fathom. For his first few days at the Carters, he flopped around in a miserable heap, wallowing in a pool of self-pity and Jack. So Steve set their sights a little shorter, aiming just to get him through the next seventy-two hours without any impulsive phone calls or drinking himself to death. He told the kids to go easy on bugging Uncle Howard, since he was going through a bad time right now, but the man himself remained largely too out of it to pay them much mind. Steve supposed it was for the best, but it was a disconcerting way to see the normally busy, dynamic Howard Stark.
For Peggy's part, she too was endeavoring to tamp down on her natural judgmental tendencies, but given the circumstances her patience extended only so far. She wasn't about to put up with a sad sack adulterer moping uselessly around her house for several weeks. "This isn't a hotel for wayward husbands," she declared. "He'll never get himself together if he lies about like a lump." So, rather than let him stew, Peggy put him to work, at every opportunity— chopping onions, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage on trash night.
Howard bridled and resisted at first. He wasn't used to doing much in the way of everyday chores at the best of times, much less in his current state. "What is this, KP duty?"
"Come on, pal," Steve urged. "You could use the distraction."
Howard groaned and went prone again. "What's it matter what I do? Might as well go out and pick up a Mad Dog and a hooker."
"Nope," Steve said. "Because Maria asked you for some time. And while she takes it, you're going to show her you can do better than you have been."
"And I got to play houseboy to do that?"
"Nah, that's for my wife, not yours. You think Peggy's going to put up with you on your ass all day? You want to try her on that?"
Howard had had fifteen years and two wars to learn better, so he found it in him to lever himself up. Despite his complaining, Steve couldn't help but think it was good for him to have a normal person's routine for a while. He even helped Elizabeth with her science homework, explaining how circuits worked to the wide-eyed eleven-year-old with the help of a potato and some chicken wire.
After a couple of weeks, Howard became aware enough of his surroundings to not overstay his welcome— and to be a little overwhelmed by the constant minor chaos of the kids.
"Is this your life? You do this every single day?" he asked, eyes bugging out at the way Elizabeth and Jamie could go from playing to fighting to laughing to screaming to napping over the course of an afternoon. "Guess you never got tired of the war zone."
But at any rate, he had dug himself out of the pit somewhat, and he would be spending the remainder of his exile in a hotel. "One where I'm not expected to be on staff. But… I think I can be trusted on my own again."
"Glad to hear it." Steve pressed his hand. "You're going to wait it out, then?"
"Yeah." Howard chuckled quietly. "I made it this far. Don't want to have done my time for nothing." He swallowed. "You think she'll take me back? You think I still got a shot?"
"I hope so." For more than just their sakes. "But, whatever happens… I'll be here."
Howard's lip quirked. "Yeah, with yard work that needs doing." He paused, then looked up to meet Steve's eyes. "Thanks for that. For everything."
It took a little more time for Maria to come to a decision about things. But Howard made good on his word and let her have as long as she needed. He took business trips out of town so that nothing drew the attention of gossips or the press, leaving Jarvis with her under strict orders to see that she was taken care of, doing his best to behave himself to prove that he was worth her learning to trust again. And Steve kept his word too; when Howard needed a shoulder, a listening ear, or a kick in the pants, he was there to see his friend through. Until after several months of patience and good behavior, Maria was willing to permit him to come back home. It was enough that in time, even Jarvis was able to forgive him.
They'd managed to rebuild in a way that was real in the near-decade since then. A marriage took time to fully repair, of course. But Maria loved him, for all his flaws, and though he'd never be a Boy Scout, the experience had put the fear of God into him; he even made an effort to get his drinking under control. And while Steve still was no close confidant of Maria's, he knew her well enough to know she wouldn't stand for a man who didn't meet her standards. Steve was proud of him, and quietly, deeply relieved.
They'd always been friends, since Steve returned in 1947 and had trusted Howard to be one of the few people to know. But this cemented Howard's trust in him, this being there in one of the lowest moments in his life, and helping him find his way through it. They were important to one another, enough to overcome the many differences between them. Such that when one of them called, the other one was going to answer.
That time in 1961 wasn't the last time they'd gone fishing— though in all those years, it had never been Howard to suggest it. If this time it was his idea, he had to have something big to talk about. Of course, given the timing, Steve had more clues than that to make a guess.
He was going to have to gather up his gear.
~~~
Next chapter: 8. Old Men
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