breakinglight11 | Entries tagged with dreams

Wow. I normally don't remember my dreams, or if I do, they're bad ones. Not sure why that is, but that's been the way for me for most of my adult life. But last night I not only remembered a dream, but an epic poem of a dream, with all these complicated twists and turns of plot. And while there was a lot of sadness in it, it was like dramatic sadness, building to something, rather than general horror or stress or melancholy like my nightmares have.

Often when I dream, people I know or "know" often feature in it, but not always as themselves. It's very common for people I know to sort of "play roles" in what's happening, as if my dream were a movie and they were actors playing the characters in the story. That's what happened last night with several figures, the most bizarre of which was the guy who plays Bianca Del Rio (I've been watching a lot of RuPaul's Drag Race lately so I guess he's in my head) in a character COMPLETELY unrelated to his persona in or out of drag.

It was an unusually mundane setting for my dreams. But it had a compelling plot, with lots of complications. For a weird brain-soap opera, I found it strangely fascinating. Interesting.

Oh, oh, awesome dreams last night! This is especially cool because I never remember good dreams! Usually only the bad, insecurity-needling ones where my loved ones reject me and horrible things happen! But last night was apparently all about a cavalcade of Gritty Reboots of Great 90s Cartoons! Or maybe more like Gritty Sequels and/or Prequels of Great 90s Cartoons!

One of them was a Gummi Bears prequel show, about when the bears were dying off and being forced into hiding because of the moving in of humans. The bears were kind of like a renegade resistance element trying to figure out how to deal. The main character was a female bear who I think my brain parsed as a young Grammi Gummi, but she didn't look like her, she was a gray bear instead of brown. The other was was like a sequel to Gargoyles, with a mysterious time traveling visitor who looked like Elisa Maza used the Phoenix Gate to bring characters to a space station in the future. I don't remember as much about that one, but I remember my mind being blown.

So awesome. God, I miss the Disney Afternoon. Kids' cartoons were so much better in the 90s. Aw, man. If only it'd also had, like, Steampunk TaleSpin, this would have been the Best Dream Ever.

It's rare that I remember my dreams anymore. I've heard that recalling them is often an indicator that you've not slept long enough to enter deep sleep, and since I tend to go to bed early and as soon as I get tired that's not usually a problem for me. But even if I do remember dreaming about something, once I wake up, knowledge of the substance slips away from me almost immediately. The only thing I am usually left with in that case is what I guess is the way I was feeling in the dream becoming the way I feel now that I'm awake.

Occasionally I have a nice feeling or an idea of a nice dream. Sometimes I even get inspired by whatever I dreamed of-- I am still delighted to think that when I needed an additional plot for The Stand, I had a dream about running a version of the game that included a storyline I hadn't already written in. And when I woke, I remembered what it was, and was able to use it to enrich into the actual game. That was cool.

But much more often I have bad dreams if I had any dream at all. And they are almost always about things that worry me, stress me out, or would be the worst thing ever if they actually happened. Not always things that I actually worry about in my real life because I know they're not likely to occur, but the things that would hurt me worst if they did. So sometimes, even if I don't remember them, I wake up upset with some worry or other that probably means that was the substance of the bad dream. And that happens a lot, far, far more than I ever have good dreams.

I had a dream about running The Stand last night. Only, as it always is when I dream about running larps, it wasn't exactly The Stand as it was supposed to be. I must have conflated it with Resonance in my subconscious, because I remember

natbudin was helping me run it, and I was being worried that certain characters didn't have enough to do because other characters they needed to interact with weren't among the fifteen that ended up in the game, which would only happen if you mixed the two game formats.

I remember Dream-Nat having to NPC a giant, and run an expedition into a dungeon. Don't know where that stuff came from. Also,

laurion was there, and though he was playing the character he is in fact cast as for the upcoming run, it... wasn't the character as written, so much. If I recall, Dream-Chad had gathered together a secret society and was trying to summon a demon. I don't believe it spoils anything to tell you that sort of thing just doesn't happen in this game. I mean, I guess anybody could TRY to gather a secret society and summon a demon in The Stand, but... ain't nothing going happen, partners. Ain't no vampires, aliens, superheroes, or time travelers in this here larp.

But what was interesting is that not all the dream-Stand was totally whacked. In fact, it contained at least one thing that wasn't in the game but actually was totally useable in it. The moment I woke up I knew the answer to something I hadn't quite figured out for a certain character. A plot came to me through the dream and I AM TOTALLY USING IT. That's pretty awesome. :-)

I have been having a recurring dream lately-- remarkable if only because I very, very rarely remember my dreams --about going home to my parents' house. Though I don't realize it, In the dream the house is more like an elegantly-decorated home-themed Mario level than a real house. It's hard to describe, but it's is enormous, with all the structures massively oversized and soaring into the sky, with weird fancy automated functions involving lights and conveniences and things like that. And all the trappings are very elegant, even opulent. Usually in the dream the only thing that registers on me is how nice it is-- in real life, my parents' house is remarkably nice and tastefully appointed. I think I'm going up the enormous, skyscraper stairs trying to find my dad. But this most recent time it was different. The house was the same as in previous iterations, but my brother was there as well. And with him came the awareness was this was not the house the way we'd grown up with it-- it was different and strange, as if they'd changed it, in a remodel or upgrade or something. And Casey was saying to me, "I don't like it here anymore. The changes are all wrong. I don't want to come back here anymore." And then suddenly the house was scary and uncomfortable. I was no longer able to climb the massive moving stairs to get to the highest level in the sky, and suddenly I was afraid of falling. All the automated pieces were dangerous and over-the-top. The hosue didn't seem nice anymore, but too big, overdone, uncomfortable, inaccessable, even likely to hurt me. And I became very acutely aware of the fact, which I guess was consistent from both dreams, that I was unable to find my dad.

My nap today was the first time I'd ever had that version of this dream. I'm not really a believer that dreams have a lot of meaning beyond being random things that happen to be in your brain expressing themselves in weird ways. But I am curious about what brought about the shift in tone of a dream I've already had one rather innocuous way several times.

Didn't have the best start to this day, and it seems to have thrown off for everything that's followed. I woke up very early in the morning after an utterly inoffensive dream (I think it was something about working on a project with a dinosaur and another coworker who was slightly prejudiced against dinosaurs-- my psyche is strange) to a rush of half-conscious worry about all the stressful things in my life right now, leaving me depressed and unable to get back to sleep until what seemed like just a few minutes before my alarm went off. By then it was already raining outside and the inside of my bedroom was freezing, making the process of hauling myself out of bed all the more difficult and uncomfortable. Getting ready was a chore, and the new acne medication I'm adding to my routine-- my stupid blemishes are getting absolutely ridiculous --made my face look sickly and pallid. To top it all off, there's a muscle high in the back of my thigh that started twitching yesterday evening and hasn't stopped since.

All of this amounts to me feeling very much off my game and not quite up to handling anything more complicated than zoning out in front of Frasier on YouTube. Unfortunately I've been so busy with my packed schedule lately that I can't really afford to not be on top of things. At least not many people come into my office when it rains (I'm being totally serious, you should see the parking lot on rainy days) so I don't think I should have any trouble getting the work done for the handful of coworkers around today. Other than that, I think I'm going to make myself a to do list to get my muzzy head a little straighter about all the stuff I need to get done.

*Sigh* You'd think that, for me, having a dream with a dinosaur in it would make for a good way to begin the day. Dinosaurs are awesome; they should not be harbingers of forboding.

Woke up at six-thirty today after falling asleep before midnight, then tired to go back to sleep until my alarm went off. Had lots of little bad dreams that I don't completely remember, but led to me waking feeling very stressed out. I should probably just drink some tea and try to chill the hell out, already.

Work was actually very fun yesterday. We wrote a little slideshow for helping people understand this month's home maintenance task, which is checking your foundation, and yesterday we shot pictures of ourselves with exaggerated facial expressions for it, and then recorded the dialogue to go over it. I really enjoyed it, and since I got paid for it, it tickles me that now I can say I have modeled and acted professionally.

Today I need to go to Target to get my prescription filled, go to the Hold Thy Peace meeting at 3:30, and then to BSCF. Also I really should get going on work. I've made some progress, but not nearly enough.

Indeed my dreams are weird. But last night's was good, not to mention unusually vivid. Fun. :-)

I love clementines. They're like tasty miniature oranges that are much easier to peel. A good juicy snack for me.

I've been playing Mario Galaxy with my brother Casey. I've also gotten into Prince of Persia, on Jared and Mac's recommendation. It has been very pleasant at my house, video gaming-wise.

Need to get cracking on my Spycraft mod. I finished the first scene, and the lovely, wonderful

electric_d_monk wrote up a guide to statting mods for me which promises to be of enormous use, but while I have a conception of what the rest should look like, it hasn't completely coalesced. I'd really like ot be able to run this soon, so I NEED TO FINISH.

Jared comes home from vacation today. I can't wait to get to talk to him again.

Today is also my puppy dog's birthday. Carmen is quite a respectable fourteen years old today, and though that age is clearly showing, she'll always be my baby.

I was awoken earlier than I'd planned this morning by an abruptly unpleasant ending to the dream I was having. It started out interesting, as I'm pretty sure it was a continuation of of a dream I'd had some time ago, where Alice was running a second time. I don't remember too many specifics of the first dream, beyond a lot of gothy people who felt like friends but were not identifiable as anyone in particular, except that I and I think Jared managed to convince Frances to try it-- I believed she was cast as the Mouse --and that Humpty Dumpty didn't show up and had to be NPCed.

This second dream seemed to pick up by the very end of the game. We were going into gamewrap when somebody yanked out a gun and started shooting people. God only knows where my brain dug that up. The dream was all wrong anyway. I couldn't NPC Humpty Dumpty because I would have had to be Alice, and I really doubt that's who I would have cast Frances as; I don't know if it would suit her personality.

My dreams are weird.

I had an interesting dream last night that for some reason intrigues me. I'm going to work it out here and see what I get from it.

( The substance of the dream... )

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Dream casting
Gritty Reboots of Great 90s Cartoons dream!
I could be bonded in a nutshell and consider myself a king of infinite space...
DREAM PLOT
Weird dream of home
Rough night
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Stuff
Today on Epiphany
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All Eyes on Me

"Do you know why heroes boast? Because it makes them brave."

Entries tagged with dreams

Dream casting

Gritty Reboots of Great 90s Cartoons dream!

I could be bonded in a nutshell and consider myself a king of infinite space...

DREAM PLOT

Weird dream of home

Rough night

(no subject)

Stuff

Today on Epiphany