All Eyes on Me

Okay, the sleeping-badly situation is getting out of hand. All the waking up again and again during the night has got to stop. Jared suggested I try taking melatonin, which can reset circadian rhythms, and at this point it can't hurt to give it a shot. And that is the last thing I'm going to say on my sleep issues for a good long while, as I'm sure you're sick of hearing about them.

Not that anybody asked me, nor should they given my complete dearth of expertise, but I'm going to tell you what I think of the iPad. I got to handle one at an Apple store recently, and well, I liked it as a thing on its own, but in the larger sense, I wasn't especially impressed.

Is there anything to it besides the fact that it's... a giant iPhone? That's cool, I guess-- God knows the annoyances I have regarding the limitations of the iPhone, and one with expanded capabilities would be much appreciated. As I mentioned, I use my iPhone as a makeshift laptop all the time. I only have a desktop right now, so if I ever want to bring a computer with me, the phone is as close as I'm going to be able to get. Something similar to the iPhone that is intended to function more like a laptop would suit my purposes nicely, wouldn't you think? But besides the larger screen, some of the more basic personal computer functions like word processing, and (I would hope) faster processor, I don't really see a huge leap forward. There's no camera, it doesn't support multi-tasking, there's no input besides the one for the typical Apple charger cable. It's basically a giant iPhone you can't make calls on. If I need a laptop, and I'm willing to spend money to acquire one, what reason do I have to not put the $499 price the iPad retails for right now toward an actual laptop that does more?

It's a cool thing. A very cool thing, in fact. If someone gave one to me, I'm sure I'd use it all the time. But is there enough utility in that coolness to make it necessary for people to pay all that money to own? I'm not sure. My question simply boils down to, unless you're buying simply for the coolness factor, which some techies certainly do, why would one prefer to spend that money on an iPad rather than a regular computer which would have more functionality?

The thing that annoys me about it is that the people whose purposes I would think they'd truly suit, the people that compute only on the most casual level, are probably never going to get them. The people who are going to buy iPads are techies, the hard-core Apple fans. They're going to think it's cool and living-in-the-future-feeling enough to shell out the money, despite the fact that they've probably already got machines at home that can do more and need way more computing power for their doings than an iPad can provide.

The iPad would be the ideal machine for someone like my mom, who uses computers to read, send e-mail, and surf the internet. A lightweight, easy-to-use device that allowed her to do all those things would be perfect. But she would never be inclined to spend so much on some gadget. She is, however, not totally unlikely to get ahold of one if bought for her by my much more technologically-inclined dad.

Am I missing something? I am not very technologically savvy. These are just my impressions from my very ignorant point of view. It's basically just a highly portable, not-very-powerful computer, right? Is anyone going to buy it instead of a computer? Is its utility really great enough for it to be bought as anything more than a cool novelty or convenience in addition to your more useful machines?

I now sit here and prepare to get schooled by people who understand the subject far better than me.

On Friday night I helped captainecchi and electric_d_monk run the fantastic League of Extraordinary Hogwarts Students. I loved playing this game, and I only wish I'd had time to study everything more carefully. I read all the character sheets and the rules, but  I still wasn't quite familiar with the inner workings of the game to be all that useful as a GM. I mostly got answers from Matt and Lise and then passed them on to players. I was particularly proud of katiescarlett29, who stepped in as Irene Adler even though she wasn't totally confident about the improv part of larping, and of nennivian, who I always thought was a larper waiting to happen. By and large the run went very well, with lots of activity and engaged players, but I wish I'd been intimate enough with the game to be able to give better suggestions to the couple of (usually new) players that got stuck. I wanted to talk to them after the game, but I was so blasted by gamewrap that I had to drag myself home and sleep. I have been sleeping badly lately, and I had to get up for a 9AM game the next day.

Saturday morning that 9AM game was the fifth run of Oz. It was an excellent run, one of the best, with the capable assistance of Jared and Bernie as my fellow GMs. We were a little nervous about the casting in places, but it turned out that everyone had a part they enjoyed. Standout players include the awesome natbudin, who we initially wanted for EVERY ROLE IN THE GAME, but we finally settled into a part because he wanted to see him portray the personality-- which he did amazingly. Again, Charlotte was fantastic, showing so much talent for getting into and becoming characters. I was incredibly impressed with wired_lizard, who played the character the way I had always imagined it to be, and gave me a few new ideas on top of that. Zachariah came up with some fantastically clever stratagies for executing his fairly difficult plotline. Hell, pretty much everyone in the game did an excellent job. I should probably stop casting bronzite as my big bad, because I think people expect him to be the villain all the time, and so no one is inclined to trust him. In the previous run of Oz, Marc Blumberg as the villain did very well and in fact managed to achieve his goal of cataclysmic destruction, but it was more because the characters he was in opposition to made a fatal error that they could not fix. John actually pushed things farther along the doom track than anyone so far, but his opposition managed to repair it properly. I was immensely pleased with this run.

Saturday afternoon, I went home to sleep. I think it helped a little, but I was still pretty draggy for the rest of the weekend.

Saturday night was the fifth run of Alice, again assisted by Jared and Bernie. I think it went well in that players had a good time, but this was the WEIRDEST RUN EVER. Though of course there have been variations, the previous four runs tended to follow some pretty clear trends. Basically, there is a pattern of connections that is supposed to get made, and with some variance in the order in previous runs they all came together, leading to an endgame scenario where two large groups are polarized against each other. A lot of those connections did not click this time around, and I'm not sure where the broken link was. The villain was vanquished again, but not by the person who is supposed to and always has in the past. In all the previous runs, either the core villain group acted so covertly that nobody knew who they were until the end of the game, or they formed a tight-knit group so cohesive that they just overwhelmed and crushed all opposition. I feel like they were more scattered and freewheeling this time around, which made them more obvious and less able to protect themselves should someone decide they were a target. There were still some fantastic performances-- I loved Lise's analytical approach to her character and she made amazing process putting together the pieces of her challenge. And April was excellent, not to mention wearing a fantastic costume. I guess any game where the players have fun is a success, but I was really shocked at how weirdly this run went.

Then I went home to sleep. Again, my sleep has not been terribly restful these days, so still. So. Draggy. Blah.

Sunday was Diamond Geezers, the only thing I played. I had a blast. I was playing an ex-military demolitions expert whose rough, ruthless, but not terribly malicious outlook I enjoyed. It was an interestingly set-up game, basically us in a confined space with a few story hooks built in but a plot that was more or less on rails. I wasn't exactly expecting that, but it was a really fun character game, involving yelling in Cockney accents and waving guns around. We experienced an odd phenomenon that I think was troubling Brad as GM that the only ones who were talking much, at least at first, were bleemoo, Charlotte, and myself, and everyone else was fairly quiet. I wonder if it was because the three of us were comfortable doing the accent and they felt slightly intimindated to speak if they couldn't. It's not like mine was any good at all, though Josh's and Charlotte's actually were. Josh was so much fun to play off of, and Charlotte continued to prove my theory that she has always been a larper, whether she knew it or not. Definitely recommend this game as a fun silly character experience.

Oh, as a side note, I was amused at usernamenumber pointing how at Brandeis, of course there was going to be less shooting and killing and more hand-holding and agreeing to work things out. :-) I have noticed this trend myself.

Next year I shall be con chair. I am looking forward to it. I am in the process of pondering a few thing to help optimize, which I will record when I have a better handle on my thoughts. Until then, thanks to everyone for making our very own con a fantastic experience again!

It's a rainy old day. Sigh. I dislike bad weather in general, especially on days when I have a fair bit of driving to do, and it's looking like it's going to last all day.

I have a number of errands to run today. I'm trying to get together with bronzite for lunch since I haven't seen him in a while. Then I must hit Main Street to deposit a check and mail back the daggers from Julius Caesar to the company they were rented from. I also wouldn't mind getting over to the mall today. Lord and Taylor sent me a nice coupon, and maybe I could find something to take home with me for my mother for her birthday. I think I also might enjoy some aimless wandering around the mall; it's been a while since I've had any real leisure time out of the house.

I did not use my free evening yesterday as well as I'd hoped to. I spent most of it napping until I finally threw away the pretense and went to bed for real around ten-thirty. I had hoped to accomplish a bit more with my time, like finishing Labor Wars character sheets. But I've been feeling tired pretty constantly all this past week, and to be honest this is the first morning in a while I don't really feel draggy, so maybe all that sleep let me finally escaped that slump. I did get my laundry folded and put away, as well as some other small household chores, so that's something at least. After my errands today I want to get back on chore track, though. The house needs a good cleaning, and I haven't had any time before now. I hate making the place spotless just before I go home for a while (no time to enjoy it but plenty of time for remaining roommates to mess it back up :-P) but it's just not comfortable, and tomorrow I'm having dinner guests. Also I am determined to finish my two sheets for The Labor Wars meeting on Thursday. At the stage I'm at right now that is totally doable, I just have to buckle down.

Wow. What a con.

Back from Intercon now and back to the grind of regular life. I am happy, exhausted, and very thoughtful.

( Shadow Over Babylon on Friday night )

Resting at home now. Got off of work, drank some orange juice, took some Advil, and slept for a few hours, which gave me the strength to get some necessary errands done. I plan to take it easy for the rest of the evening.

I have a few more items still on my to do list, but even though I have some actual free time tonight, I think I'm going to just take care of myself. It occurs to me that I've been sick more times this year than any recent year previous; maybe it's true about the effect stress can have on the immune system. God knows I've been more stressed this year than I've ever been before.

I'd really like to feel at least mostly well for tomorrow. I'm going to enjoy it regardless, but it'd be nice to be able to breathe and speak. I'd be impolite if I couldn't thank people for all the gushing they are certain to do about the play. ;-)

I am a ball of nerves right now thanks to the snow I just drove to work in. I was so nervous about being late today due to having to dig my car out that I woke up ridiculously early AGAIN, then tried to go back to sleep, only to have the slightly-earlier-than-normal alarm I set not go off. So I rushed out to unbury Constantine, which fortunately wasn't too difficult since the snow was still fluffy, and drove over terrifyingly slippery roads that sometimes I would slide over even when I braked. I really hope it quits by the time I'm supposed to go home, but it's still coming down like crazy and doesn't seem to be turning into rain like the weather report said it would. :-( I'm kind of afraid to drive in it again.

I really just want to go home, curl up under a blanket, and not come out until the snow stops. I want to eat that lovely brined and pan-fried pork chop in the fridge, and a cup of hot apple cider to go with it. This being out in the snow stuff is for chumps.

Didn't have the best start to this day, and it seems to have thrown off for everything that's followed. I woke up very early in the morning after an utterly inoffensive dream (I think it was something about working on a project with a dinosaur and another coworker who was slightly prejudiced against dinosaurs-- my psyche is strange) to a rush of half-conscious worry about all the stressful things in my life right now, leaving me depressed and unable to get back to sleep until what seemed like just a few minutes before my alarm went off. By then it was already raining outside and the inside of my bedroom was freezing, making the process of hauling myself out of bed all the more difficult and uncomfortable. Getting ready was a chore, and the new acne medication I'm adding to my routine-- my stupid blemishes are getting absolutely ridiculous --made my face look sickly and pallid. To top it all off, there's a muscle high in the back of my thigh that started twitching yesterday evening and hasn't stopped since.

All of this amounts to me feeling very much off my game and not quite up to handling anything more complicated than zoning out in front of Frasier on YouTube. Unfortunately I've been so busy with my packed schedule lately that I can't really afford to not be on top of things. At least not many people come into my office when it rains (I'm being totally serious, you should see the parking lot on rainy days) so I don't think I should have any trouble getting the work done for the handful of coworkers around today. Other than that, I think I'm going to make myself a to do list to get my muzzy head a little straighter about all the stuff I need to get done.

Been feeling a little bit low-energy lately, and sleeping more hours than I normally do. Yesterday, despite a pleasantly low-key day spent mostly alone, I think I slept ten hours at night and two more in a nap. Hoping to avoid feeling so sleepy today, I rose early and took a scaldingly hot shower. I actually do feel better now; maybe Jared is right and whenever I feel draggy I should just jump in the shower.

Can't afford to be useless today; I will be attending my first GM meeting with the Labor Wars team. I want to be on the ball so I can contribute and be helpful. I find myself wishing I still had a laptop so I could take it with me to access the wiki and be able to take more efficient notes, but unfortunately while I used to have both, at the moment I only have a desktop. Ah, well, I suppose my trusty gaming notebook will have to suffice. If I need to check out the website, my iPhone will probably suffice.

Also, Oz and Paranoia are now filled for SFS Live Action Weekend at WPI. I am very pleased-- I shall be sending out casting questionnaires shortly, and the preparation process must begin.

Watched Gargoyles with Jared yesterday evening. I'm very glad he's getting into it, it's my all-time favorite, and since he's started reading the comic books, he's become curious about the show. Yay.

Didn't have the best night's sleep, though. Woke up sick and wrenchingly threw up. Not sure what caused it. I'm not feeling naseous anymore, but I still don't feel very good. I don't feel like going to class. I've never missed one yet, so maybe it's okay if I skip. Still, we only have two classes left... urgh. 

Nobody really seems to be around today. They're all on their way home like Jared. That's okay. I should probably just take it easy and enjoy the time alone. 

I think I won't go to class. I'll spend the day doing things I need to do. I'll go for a brief run soon, if I can manage it. I'll take a good shower, clean my room, do my dishes, pack my bag, get my flight information in order, and maybe do some work on something or other. That might be nice.